25 years ago I was born unto this earth and now at the brink of 26 I want to start doing something meaningful with my life. And...

25 years ago I was born unto this earth and now at the brink of 26 I want to start doing something meaningful with my life. And I'll be honest-I haven't. I've worked a numerous amount of meaningless, stupid jobs that I hate-mostly office assistant types of positions and i haven't quite found a purpose. I have a vivid imagination but I don't know how to quite tap it yet in to something productive. I am a very, very anxious person and am prone to hyperventilating. But when I use this energy outwards I think that it could be something productive and great. When I use it inwards it makes me sick. I have weird fears. Sometimes I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm kind of a weirdo. I change my opinion on things all the time. I feel like a lot of times the person in the picture isn't me at all. I often feel disconnected from my body, as though they are two entities somehow connected together. So here I am. Don't really know why. Out of work. Tired of looking for work. In some debt. A little depressed and very overwhelmed. Debating on whether to quit smoking. Have a poor relationship with parents. Engaged to someone who I can't figure out for the life of me wants to get married to me. But hey it's not all bad. I'm pretty funny when I want to be. Maybe someday I'll make you laugh.