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Breaking News: Lock & load, America, belligerent turkeys make fine Thanksgiving dining
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth

Boston :: MA :: USA | updated 2014-04-11 14:28:56 -0700 | funny-news

Reading about how wild turkeys are menacing populated areas and aggressively threatening people, I can only think one thing: “It’s the United States of America, for God’s sake, whip out a gun and blast the bothersome buggers.” Like George Zimmerman,...
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Views: 30,693   News Stories: 1
Blog Posts: 0 1 2 6
 
Breaking News: North Korea's Kim Jung Un, alias 'One Hung,' tries to make up for his short…you know
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

Pyŏngyang :: North Korea | updated 2014-02-19 11:36:08 -0800 | funny-news

Dennis Rodman is heading for North Korea to visit his new BFF, Kim Jong Un, next week. I think the former NBA dribbler should remember that traveling is not allowed in basketball, and maybe he should reconsider. Here’s why. North...
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Views: 28,074   News Stories: 19
Blog Posts: 2 15 25 9
 
 
Breaking News: A Ring For My Love (limerick)
 
Posted by: Martin Kloess

San Francisco :: CA :: USA | updated 2014-02-03 09:05:23 -0800 | funny-news

Twas clear I was in lover’s throws I loved her from head down to toes For this Joy of spring I’d do anything I even bought ring for my nose
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Views: 26,208   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 0 0 1 3
 
Breaking News: Black Friday, 'a day that will live in infamy' for sales clerks, shoppers
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

New York City :: NY :: USA | updated 2013-11-29 19:46:46 -0800 | funny-news

When I was introduced to the term Black Friday, I thought it was a day set aside to honor African Americans. My wife, who dwells in the murky world of retail, soon set me straight. I believe the term she...
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Views: 25,709   News Stories: 1
Blog Posts: 0 1 2 12
 
Breaking News: The Secret To My Hot Moves (limerick)
 
Posted by: Martin Kloess

San Francisco :: CA :: USA | updated 2013-12-18 00:03:49 -0800 | funny-news

It wasn’t the winds of romance Which ignited flare of my dance Or some magic trance From her silken glance But darn stinkin’ ants in my pants
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Views: 24,374   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 0 1 1 2
 
Breaking News: 'Hi-Yo, Silver! Away' - Texas Sen. Ted Cruz spurns Canadian citizenship  (Opinion)
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

Toronto :: Canada | updated 2013-09-30 18:07:08 -0700 | funny-news

From one Canadian to another, “Goodbye, Ted Cruz, live long and prosper.” The Texas Republican senator, born in the Canadian Wild West city of Calgary, Alberta, to an American mother and a Cuban father, has renounced any claims on citizenship...
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Views: 17,006   News Stories: 21
Blog Posts: 2 7 3 14
 
 
Breaking News: So Merkel says to Obama, 'Did you get my cellphone messages?'
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

Toronto :: Canada | updated 2014-04-12 09:13:45 -0700 | funny-news

Everybody has a funny bone, but humor can also be targeted to countries. So, just for the fun of it, here are some examples with all original material, for better or worse, by the writer: South Africa: An elephant from...
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Views: 15,550   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 0 3 4 16
 
Breaking News: Nevada cathouse crisis – profits down because knickers are not
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

Carson City :: NV :: USA | updated 2013-09-30 18:07:08 -0700 | funny-news

Nevada’s brothels are going bust – as in broke, not as in cleavage – with the recession cutting into the boys’ nights out. But one enterprising entrepreneur is snapping up bordellos in a blur reminiscent of a 13-year-old’s hand movement...
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Views: 13,860   News Stories: 1
Blog Posts: 6 1 2 8
 
Breaking News: Gays, please stop coming out of the closet
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

San Francisco :: CA :: USA | updated 2014-01-25 17:50:36 -0800 | funny-news

A message to gays — please stay in the closet. This is not an anti-gay message, like that delivered by the "Duck Dynasty" doughhead, Phil Robertson. It is just that I am tired of reading about who came out as...
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Views: 12,322   News Stories: 17
Blog Posts: 0 1 18 47
 
Breaking News: Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson's secret ingredient – cocaine?
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

London :: United Kingdom | updated 2014-01-04 08:07:04 -0800 | funny-news

Nigella, Nigella, you famous chef devil you – would one of your secret ingredients in the kitchen be cocaine? No wonder the damn dishes taste so good when you make them, Ms. Lawson. They taste very ordinary when I follow...
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Views: 12,122   News Stories: 15
Blog Posts: 0 1 9 11
 
Breaking News: What would Don Draper think of millennial men?
 
Posted by: BKGlaser

New York City :: NY :: USA | updated 2013-10-03 11:39:23 -0700 | funny-news

Don Draper is sick of this. Pete Campbell and the others have been in his office for 20 minutes, ranting about this “new kind of man.” 18-34 years old. Wears bespoke tailored Topman blazers with $200 sneakers. Puts product in...
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Views: 10,289   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 0 0 1 0
 
 
Breaking News: Gay WWE wrestler comes out of the closet and drags me with him
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth

San Francisco :: CA :: USA | updated 2013-08-24 06:57:57 -0700 | funny-news

WWE superstar wrestler Darren Young became the first wrestler in that organization's history to come out of the closet when he announced during an interview last week that he was gay. That took guts. It paved the way for me...
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Views: 8,827   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 2 2 1 12
 
Breaking News: Paula Deen racist video goes viral
 
Posted by: Chelsea Hoffman

Las Vegas :: NV :: USA | updated 2013-06-27 16:35:43 -0700 | funny-news

A hilarious parody voiceover of a Paula Deen cooking segment is beginning to go viral on Youtube, poking fun at the famed chef's public fall from grace. In the video titled "African American Cooking with Paula Deen," actual footage of...
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Views: 6,944   News Stories: 50
Blog Posts: 4 10 1 0
 
Breaking News: Sex and the elderly: ‘Not in the armpit, please, it gives a rash'
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

New York City :: NY :: USA | updated 2014-02-19 11:42:17 -0800 | funny-news

A federally funded study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that oldsters are imitating youngsters and going at sex with renewed vigor, NBC News reported recently. There are lots of scientific theories why this is true. But...
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Views: 6,344   News Stories: 0
Blog Posts: 0 1 8 26
 
Breaking News: World celebrates the birth of a blue blood
 
Posted by: Barry Ellsworth SelectMedia

London :: United Kingdom | updated 2013-09-30 18:07:08 -0700 | funny-news

A blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy was born in Britain to Bill and his bride. Beautiful. The as-yet unnamed baby arrived at 4:24 p.m. BST; the world press well before. There’s no insider information that leads to the hair and eye...
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Views: 6,078   News Stories: 19
Blog Posts: 3 1 1 3
 

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