Squishy Toilet Seats: The Bottom End of Things
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Squishy Toilet Seats: The Bottom End of Things

Florianópolis : Brazil | Apr 12, 2011 at 5:38 AM PDT
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Talking about toilet seats may be a sensitive subject to some. Usually, one's bathroom practice ends up to be the very last topic even the most intimate relations delve. Butt, I have realized that no longer can I hold my...hold my...words back about the phenomena of the squishy toilet seat. They are not for me.

My view does not include the obvious sanitation problems. Nor have I considered the popularity of the poop cushion with those less endowed in the derrière down there. My research – if you could call it that – involved both individual test trials, witness interviews and Internet surfing.

The test trials went poorly. Maybe I just couldn't get an equalized pressure release during the sit down phase. I always felt like I was getting on a horse that could buck me off. I imagine the other feeling I had may be restricted to an adult site, but trust me when I say they were less than comforting.

The witness interview went worst than you can imagine. It is my advice that any writer deciding to dig into this topic conduct their interview either on the phone or online – especially if it's the opposite sex. For those who do not want to talk about it in person, that relationship is definitely over. For those who want to talk about it in person, it's best to end that relationship as soon as possible.

Needless to say the Internet research cast no real fruitful direction. Truth be told, most of the discussion seemed to benefit or have the support of Wal-Mart or Target. Both stores of which should not advise folks about their bathrooms likes and dislikes. I did find it curious that Bed Bath & Beyond did not have any squishy seats in stock.

This subject matter may not rise to the level of a boxer-briefs debate, but there are some who do entertain this dilemma every time they sit down. As I was considering this puzzling situation, I wondered who invented the darn thing.

Maybe the idea of a cushioned chair or couch started the trend. Maybe the inventor suffered from some malady that prevented the ultimate comfort during a sensitive time. But, whatever its birth, I wish I could always ask hotels, friends, relatives or friends that before I come over to stay that I do not wish to sit in that position when the seat talks back to me every time I make any kind of movement.

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The Last Kingdom
Squishy Toilet Seats Make Some Squemish
Nathaniel Hines is based in Florianópolis, Santa Catarina, Brazil, and is an Anchor on Allvoices.
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