Let's Get Real About Jared

Day by day we are learning more of the clues (in hindsight, there were billboard signs) that Tucson shooter Jared Loughner was mentally ill and possibly dangerous. Columnist David Ignatius wrote, in "Walking by the Mentally Wounded" (Washington Post January 13, 2011) that "we saw {Jared Loughner] coming and didn't do anything to stop it." Can a crime like this really be stopped before it is committed? Many of us know people with less than ideal emotional stability, but how quickly would we make the leap that they are capable of mass murder? Even obvious potential is not actionable. In our effort to make sense out of the senseless, let's not resort to magical thinking.

How do we know that nothing was done? Too often, when the layers of these stories are peeled away, we learn of desperate families who have exhausted every resource they have trying to help a troubled loved one. They have enjoyed sleepless nights, spent their savings, fought for and exhausted health insurance benefits, cried a river of tears, while keeping their heartbreak secret. They have encountered doctors, school administrators, psychiatrists, social workers, advisors, counselors, law enforcement and court officials, many offering conflicting advice. If they have the financial wherewithal, they have paid for ultimately useless physical, mental, psychiatric and learning evaluations; have given an array of prescription medications with negligible benefit; have sent their loved one into expensive inpatient or outpatient treatment programs. They have feared their loved one might steal from them, sell them out to other bad people, hurt themselves. They have endured terrifying moments when the fleeting thought crossed their minds: "Could he ever---? No!". They have prayed and prayed. (Please, God, don't ever let him get hold of a gun……). They live with dread. Every day.

When you encounter an unbalanced person, know that somewhere there are people who love him -- a parent, sibling, child, spouse, ex-spouse, or friend -- who probably have already done their best to help. Maybe time and again they have given up, only to try one more time. Mr. Ignatius is right -- we shouldn't look the other way. We should try more often to intervene more assertively, bearing in mind that help may have already failed. Don't assume that the Jareds of the world have no one who cares, or that your ideas for intervention haven't been tried. Remember that a Jared can't be arrested until he commits a crime -- and being crazy isn't a crime.

Be aware. Reach out. We can do better. But don't expect magic.