On Style for Men: Bowties...

The occasions on which one can wear a bowtie without being churlishly ironic are few.

They have become the staple attire for try-hard pricks of a certain age – the guys that almost know they look a twat, but still secretly think it gives them an air of superiority. It doesn’t – in fact it complements their pseudo political, poorly informed opinionated ramblings with a side-helping of crass misinterpretation (bullshit) of a status symbol too long abused.

Men shouldn’t mess with the bowtie. It is a hallowed item. Wearing it with tailored shorts and geek specs is trendy, but it isn’t big or clever. The bowtie should be reserved for occasions that, as a rule of thumb, take place late.

By this, I mean to include all formal dinners and old age. Old men – those with enough mileage to be considered mandatorily eccentric – can wear extravagant, patterned bowties with chunky knit cardigans. Young men should wear silk bowties with dress shirts and beautiful women in beautiful ball gowns on their arm…

…they should not attempt to look like a pop star caught in a bargain basement explosion. This, my friends, is sartorial suicide. It is our aim to stay one step ahead, or intentional several steps behind the current madness of modernism. This allows us to view the good, the bad and the ugly objectively and forever dress as men out of time…

…born many moons too late, as a good friend once said.