Friendship First?
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Friendship First?

Friendship : ME : USA | Nov 03, 2010 at 7:55 AM PDT
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Cameron Diaz

Is it really “first comes love, then comes marriage”? Or can it sometimes be first comes FRIENDSHIP, love, then marriage? Both instances can be relatable. Because sometimes starting off a relationship as friends and then eventually moving forward into a loving, intimate relationship, is the best bet.



I believe there are two forms of love. One type of love is the one that hits you like a ton of bricks. It is one that finds you unexpectedly and leaves you breathless. The other type of love is the one that is acquired more slowly over time. It is the type of love that is already there, but you learn how to open yourself to it. This is where you learn to love a person over time.

The reason friendship first may be the best route is that you are taking your time getting to know someone. You learn a person’s good and bad traits; you become accustomed to who they are. Taking your time getting to know who a person is first, may lead to a stronger foundation for an actual adult relationship in the future. When you start off as friends, the other person has already seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. A comfortable atmosphere has already been established between the two of you.

Yes, it’s great finding that instant love connection with someone, but this doesn’t necessarily mean a relationship can be sustained in that manner. Sometimes when you start off a relationship that is so intense, it can lead to a relationship where the flames that quickly fizzles out. Do not discount going the friendship first route. You may be surprised where the road leads you.

I have bared witness to a few relationships that started off as friends first, lead into a mature relationship, blossomed into a romance, and eventually lead to matrimony. There is something to be said about marrying your best friend. That person knows everything about you, cherishes you despite your flaws, and continues to support you even through the difficult moments.

Sometimes you step into that threshold where you already have a pre-existing friendship, and you really start to question whether that friendship can turn into something more. Moreover, what if the other person cannot see you anything more than just a friend? It is a scary thought to wonder how you would deal if things did not work out after giving a relationship a shot. Yes, it is scary, but what is even scarier is what if you do not even try? You might miss a great life lesson, or the best relationship of your life. You might be turning away the greatest love of your life. It is better to let yourself love than have any regrets later in life. Let them know now before someone else sweeps them off their feet. A great example is in the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” with Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. Julia Roberts discovered too late that her best friend was actually her soul mate and great love. In the end, he ends up marrying Cameron Diaz’s character. I know it is just a movie, but there is a definite lesson to be learned. The idea of loving your best friend is not far fetched from reality.

I would like to think in my case when that day comes, I will be marrying my best friend…

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AllahBakhsh is based in Islamabad, Federal Capital Area, Pakistan, and is a Stringer on Allvoices.
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