The Coalition Communities and Local Government Secretary, Eric Roly Poly Pickles, who is the only Government Minister who can be seen without a microscope, on Google Earth, was in a pickle today, after a blazing row with his refuse collectors....
Eric Pickles, quoted as saying that:
"Every Englishman has a right to put the bin out, without waiting for it to be collected",
put his bin out on Friday last, and it was still there today. stinking of empty pickle jars, and all manner of rotting food waste..... which at least didn't add to his 'waist'-line.
Eric Pickles, phoned the local council, demanding that they collect his bin, but was passed from pillar to post, between one department worker and another, no one was able to say when his bin would be collected, which rendered him so irate, that he decided to take the law into his own hands.....
Eric Pickles strapped the red wheelie bin, to the bumper of his car, and drove to the council offices, with the bin full of refuse, and tipped its contents, all over the steps, to the entrance of the local council offices, he was caught on CCTV, in the act of doing this.
Peter Caravan Ambler, who was outside the council offices, protesting about incinerators, with his mob and accompanied by his right hand protestor Dorothy Atkins-, cheered as Eric Pickles emptied the bin all over the council office steps.
The Assistant Deputy Director of the Pickle Jar, Rubbish Collection Department, Mr Oliver Onions, was called to deal with the incident, and he tried to insist, that Eric Pickles cleaned up the mess.
Eric Pickles refused, and commencing to pelting him, with all of the rubbish. Peter Caravan Ambler and his group of fellow protesters pitched in.
Oliver Onions, was covered from head to foot, in all manner of putrid refuse, and most irate, and subsequently ordered the reception staff, to call the police.
Angry police arrived to find Oliver Onions with not only egg on his face, but also putrid pickled onions as well, he was given a very wide berth.
Bertha Butchers, a resident living across the road from the council offices in Landfill Street, Bradford, came out of her house to watch the spectacle, she was kind enough to provide even more refuse to throw at Oliver Onions, as she was also aggrieved after her bin had not emptied also.
Eric Pickles, told the police, that he was fed up of trying to get hold of Oliver Onions, who he felt, had been deliberately avoiding him, and refusing to speak with him on the phone, about the failure to empty his bin.
Oliver Onions, insisted that the police arrest Eric Pickles and the protesters, together with Bertha Butchers, for pelting him with rotten produce, and also for fly tipping rubbish on the council steps.
The police however, sensibly decided, that since the council was a load of rubbish anyway, a couldn't see, that a bit more rubbish, would make a significant difference.
More news later minus rubbish watch this space.