Perry emerging as the 'home-scholers' man

It isn't like I've never misspelled a word.

Still, I would like to think if I were carrying a poster that might wind up on national television or a wire service, I might check it to make sure it didn't have any mistakes.

The thing is, people who keep their children at home to teach them are so damn sanctimonious, bragging about test scores and how their child reads way beyond his or her grade level.

This reminds me of the one about a truck driver and his kid. The kid told his father he had received an "F" on a spelling test.

"How did you do that?" his father asked.

"I didn't know how to spell 'posse,'" the boy replied.

His father laughed. "Spell it? You don't even know how to pronounce it."

Some home schoolers are wonderful, but in the case of others, it's the blind leading the blonde and the lame leading the halt.

This particular rally was for Rick Perry of Texas, who the late Molly Ivins called Governor Goodhair. And Sarah Palin, aka Snowbilly T. Grifter, was the guest speaker.

It's really a shame, because the Democrats aren't much better, but if the Republicans weren't serious, they could be providing one of the best running comedy revues in the world.

From Perry to Palin, from Gingrich to Limbaugh, Republicans are participating in a Theater of the Absurd of the likes we haven't seen since Dick Nixon and His Tricksters were in the White House.

Republicans announce the're for something, and when Democrats agree, the Republicans say no, they're really against it.

Look at the GOP. Even with Dubya Bush gone, the beat goes on with loons like Palin, Piyush Jindal, Carly Fiorina's Demon Sheep and John "Orangeade" Boehner.

Whether it's Larry Craig taking a wide stance, Mark Craig asking for pictures of male pages' buttocks or Michelle "True Loon" Bachman, being a Republican these days is something special.

The recently deceased Erich Segal said love meant never having to say you're sorry, but being a Republican is even better. You never have to say you're sane.

Being a Republican means having a two-word answer to any question:

Cut taxes.

It's certainly their education plan -- no child's behind left (alone).

It's their defense plan -- cut taxes and let Blackwater run free.

Or is it Xe?

Actually, crap by any other name smells just as sweet.

Republicans learned one lesson very well. There's plenty of money to be made in a declining empire, even if your policies are making it decline.

President Obama may have a tough fight for re-election, but he has nobody to blame but himself. Certainly none of his potential opponents can even pass the laugh test at this point.

Snowbilly Sarah? Uh, yeah. You betcha.

Mittens Romney? He's H.W. Bush without the class.

Mike Huckabee? Ask those four Washington state police officers about Huck. Oops, you can't. The guy he let out of jail early killed them.

Newt? Not hardly, pilgrim. Newt is to a real president as Steven Seagal is to John Wayne.

Somebody might emerge, but the one candidate the GOP has who might really excite America is constitutionally barred from running for president.

Then again, maybe Governor Goodhair will run.

He'd certainly have all those home-scholers behind him.

If he could get Snowbilly to run with him, they would have a great slogan.

Perry and Palin, with one good brain between them.