Dems are just as goofy as the GOP

Oh, dear Lord.

Now the Democrats are getting into it too. In response to the goofy 10 principles for being a Republican that I wrote about last week, now someone on Daily Kos has come up with a list of 10 principles for being a Democrat.

Line up, folks.

This one is every bit as goofy.

They say: (1) We support the rights extended to Americans extended under the Constitution. All the rights. For all Americans.

They mean: This one must be about gay marriage, but there's nothing about marriage in the Constitution.

They say: (2) We support thoughtful, pragmatic solutions that protect American lives, American standards, and American pocketbooks. This includes finding solutions that don't require bombing anyone.

They mean: Are there actually people out there opposed to thoughtful, pragmatic solutions? Jeez, they might as well have said they like pizza.

They say: (3) We support an America that has diversity in race, thought, background, and religion not out of some hazy idealism, but because it is our nation's greatest strength.

They mean: Do we really think Republicans only like white people. Come on.

They say: (4) We oppose torture in any form, in any place, at any time, for any reason.

They mean: This is actually one of the only ones that actually means something. Yep, we hate torture.

They say: (5) We support American business, and recognize that an unregulated market is an unfair market, an unstable market, and a market doomed to failure.

They mean: Unregulated? Completely unregulated? Only the Libertarians want that. The question is how much regulation. Be specific.

They say: (6) We support American workers, and know that when workers are allowed to organize they make their jobs, their companies, and their nation stronger.

They mean: Unions are good, but at this point we've gone so far past unions that this one is almost meaningless.

They say: (7) We believe that the reputation of our nation is valuable and must be zealously guarded against those who place expediency ahead of law.

They mean: We want everyone to love us.

They say: (8) We believe in spreading democracy and human rights to the rest of the world by vigorously upholding those ideals here at home.

They mean: Everyone should want to be like us.

They say: (9) We believe that access to our government is not for sale. Not in the courthouse, not in the White House, and not in the legislature.

They mean: This one actually made me laugh, because the Democrats are every bit as bad about taking lobbyist money as Republicans.

They say: (10) We believe that the health of our planet is not a zero-sum game, not a game of "you go first," and not a game.

They mean: Nice thought, but who's against this? It means nothing.

For anyone who loves America, it's got to be disappointing to know that both political parties are equally goofy, equally stupid and equally willing to come up with all sorts of platitudes to get votes.