ROYALS ATTACKED BY SASQUATCH!

While galavanting about the province of British Columbia, Canada to bruhaha and hoopla our upcoming Olympic craptacular, the Royal couple were accosted by a giant Smurf! (Camilla is the one in the middle apparently). The three Olympic mascots (Whoozit, Whatzit & Thingamajigger) stumbled drunk out of the hills above Whistler Village seeking spare change for cheap wine OR a flight back to japan to meet their comic book creators...perhaps to kill them?

Budget cuts have forced the trio into homelessness and panhandling for subsistance and rumour has it Whatzit has succumbed to "crack" abuse. He was last seen chasing the Olympic torch down Hastings Street trying to light his pipe. They are sorely in need of a bath and some grooming at this juncture.

Prince CharlesPrince Charles invested Whoozit into the Order of the Garter while Camilla presented Thingamajigger with a saddle....then rode off on him.