Young lady, you will be happy again.

Richmond, California (CNN) -- Investigators say as many as 20 people were involved in or stood and watched the gang rape of a 15-year-old girl outside a California high school homecoming dance Saturday night.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html

What do you say to someone who had been victimized like this?

I am a sexual abuse survivor myself, and I don't even know what to say to her if I had the opportunity.

I suppose I could tell her my story which pales in comparison. But human suffering is human suffering, and I did indeed suffer.

I was 13-years-old when I walked into the local police station crying, ready for help. A woman in the waiting room who at the time was probably about my age now asked my mom what was going on and if I was okay. She came up to me later on, asked if she could give me a hug and said that it had happened to her when she was little too. And that she is now doing great and that things get better. That's what she told me.

When I told my father who for years was molested as a young boy by a friend of the family, he told me to get over it.

For the next few years I went through bi-weekly therapy sessions, group sessions, flashbacks, suicide attempts, drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, group therapy, seminars, cheating, cutting, burning, crying, drawer-throwing, threats, medication, lying, love, hate, you name it.

One time I was admitted to emergency when I had alcohol poisoning and stopped breathing. I was told that I was having flashbacks at the time, and the only thing I remember from that night was in the waiting room, being held by a strange woman who cried with me. I don't remember what she said exactly, but I remember her face.

I imagine that this girl's family and friends are scratching their heads trying to figure out what the hell to say to their daughter, sister, cousin, friend. A lot of people will probably tell her that she just needs to talk about it, or that she needs to move on. Both are right. Some things you just need to get out, and other things are between you and yourself.

All I know is that whatever happens and whatever people say, when she is spiraling down into an abyss of pain and hate and fear, that she keeps looking up and survives herself.

She survived the rape.

She survived the assault.

She survived the humility.

Please, young lady, woman to woman, please survive yourself. It will hurt, but you will feel better. You will be happy again.

Look at me for example.