Iraqi Woman Loves Homeland More Than Life in Peaceful U S of A

What's new: more details of her life and voyage to death

By Robert Weller,

Haiffaa Ali escaped Iraq to join her daughter in Colorado, but the journey was heartbreaking.

First, she had to spend five years in Syria, and truth be told she never wanted to leave her home in Baghdad at all. Yes, Americans, not everyone wants to live here, even with bombs going off all around them.

KVOD, Colorado’s voice of classical radio, began tracking refugees and came across her in February, a year after she arrived with her husband.

What Haiffaa, 53, had to say took the interviewer and this writer by surprise.

“I am leave my country because of the war in my country, because what I see in my country make me scared,” she said. “I decided to leave this country, this is a sad decision, this is a difficult decision.”

She added, “Everywhere blow. I cannot go to chauffeur my family because everyone has gun in his hand. One kills the other. No government.”

No one can control the country and she lacked basic utilities, including water. Coming from a wealthy family this was hard to bear.

Her father was killed in his home during the war. “He is too old to be killed. She is half Sunni and half Shia.

Asked how she felt during her years in Syria, “it was just a station to move to another place.”

She definitely did not want to come to the U.S. but her family had preceded her. Her husband had run afoul of Saddam HusseinSaddam Hussein.

“No, No,” she said with real gravitas.

“For many reasons ... Because America has Army in my country.” She had opposed American intervention. Because America is in my country I don’t think I want to come to America. This is not my dream.”

She began working with a group of women making jewelry, necklaces and beads. Margot Potter, author of “The Impatient Crafter,” remembered Haiffaa’s words the first day she sold something.

“I have this pride, this feeling, and I can’t explain it. This eight dollars, it means everything right now. It tells me I can do something and make my own money. This is my first money I made. I can never spend this eight dollars. I have to keep it and show it—I must show it to the other women so they know how this feels and it is real.”

After a year here she learned that America wasn’t made up entirely of Texans “come to fight me.”

She has three children, 27, 22, and 16. The two elder kids work, one as a mechanic and the other at the Dollar Store.

“If my country is in peace I will go back. I leave behind me my house, my dreams. If I am in the best life in this country but it is not my country _ it is not Iraq.

... Maybe I need to die in my country.”

On Sunday, while visiting Baghdad to see her father’s grave, a bomb killed her as she visited a travel agent.

More from a friend in their blog, A Little Something:

When Haiffaa first arrived in Denver she was angry and afraid. She only knew Americans by way of the military presence in her country and from what she had seen on television. She believed Americans would be hostile, especially toward an Iraqi. She was surprised and relieved to learn that she was welcome here and that strangers wanted to help her make a life here. She used to say that in a person's heart, it was easy for love to turn to hate, but together, we all had truly accomplished something by turning her hate into love.

Haiffaa loved to travel, and her family made it possible for her to go overseas to visit her friends and other family members. On this trip, she said she would go to Germany and then to Jordan . She stayed far longer than she had said she would, and many of us were wondering if she was planning to come home at all.

Unbeknownst to her family, Haiffaa sneaked into Iraq late last week. She was so close and the temptation was too great to ignore. She had some unfinished emotional business she needed to take care of. Haiffaa’s elderly father had been murdered while Haiffaa and her family were in exile. The crime was unrelated to the war and it remained a cold case amidst the chaos of war. Haiffaa never had closure—she had no way to say goodbye to her father, and she was always pained that he didn’t have a proper funeral. As his only child, she felt his loss keenly. She often spoke of the day she could return to Iraq to visit her father’s grave and to finally say goodbye.

When Haiffaa called her husband in Denver to say she was with relatives in Baghdad, he was furious. He told her to get out of the country immediately. Who knows what Haiffaa was thinking. Perhaps she thought the conflict had eased to the point that it really was safe enough to visit. Apparently, it wasn’t. !50 died with her.