Love bites is not a ground for divorce - anymore

In a landmark judgment with widespread ramifications for the community interested in bedroom gymnastics in the country, a senior court in the country has ruled that love bites given by one’s spouse cannot be treated as a ground for divorce.
Delivering the verdict, Justice Chavvani Lal observed “if we were to go by love bites, I should have been divorced twenty years back. In fact, it’s these very bites that kept our relationship going and what’s good for me is good for you guys also”.

The verdict was passed in a case where a fashion designer had asked the court to grant her divorce as her hubby was an “animal in bed” and used to give her at least 7 certified love bites “in visible areas” a day. Her lawyer filed a plea asking the court to take into account the fact that she had to put with prying colleagues interested in her love life at the work place and fend off curious looks from visitors at her home. “Further, her mother in law wanted her to visit a doctor and go for skin grafting at the earliest. The plaintiff has suffered emotional and physical trauma to satiate the insatiable appetite of her husband and needs to be granted a divorce at the earliest,” her lawyer pleaded.

The Justice Chavvani Lal while dismissing the case said “the court encourages the plaintiff to find a better excuse to go for a divorce. Love bites is not exactly something that court views as a good excuse ���. However, taking into account the emotional state of the plaintiff, this court directs the respondent to go easy on the plaintiff in bed.” The court has deputed a observer to witness the activities of the couple 24X7 for the next 90 days to ensure that the leniency granted is not misused.

Noted Loveologist Dr Hammerschmidst while studying the verdict said that the concept of love bites was as old as humanity itself. “The first documented love bite was given by a dude in what is now Egypt in over 10,000,000 years ago. Intense and uncontrollable moments of passion resulting in bites are also seen in some of the mummies of Egypt. Love bites cannot be viewed in isolation from a relationship and is also essential for maintaining healthy teeth, Hammerschmidst said.