An Ode to the Taliban: The Poet's Corner

In this ode, I direct all of my verbal venom towards the Taliban, the group that has been idiotic enough to fight against the NATO Alliance for eight solid years. I know that you will enjoy this one more than my other poems. Are you ready to go on this calvacade of greatness? Well, start reading.

Make sure that this poem makes its way to Waziristan

To all of those cooped up in Afghanistan and Pakistan

O, Taliban. O, Taliban. Why do you keep blowing up yourselves, man?

Running out of people does not sound like a successful plan

You should have never hitched your wagon with Al-Qaeda

Because in the afterlife, you will be scorched like French Fries made by Ore-Ida.

Seventy-two virgins are not waiting for you in paradise

Before that happens, pigs would have to turn into butterflies

Those are the same odds of your group winning this war: virtually impossible

With absolutely no chance of the outcome ever becoming probable.

Don't you realize that suicide bombings are really stupid?

If exploding yourself up is so great, then why don't the Taliban leaders ever do it?

I'll tell you why; they're all cowards. Their tactics will never cause enough chaos to bring back the Mahdi.

Because the Taliban are cooped up like a bunch of chickens: hideouts filled with poultry.

What the US military should do is fill all of the mountainous caves with plugs

Then squash all of the Taliban just like a group of bugs.

The Taliban should be used to being called that; they are all hiding in holes living like Bugs BunnyBugs Bunny.

I make a plea to the world; stop funding terrorist movements with money.

Taliban, you need to surrender to the NATO Alliance

And put an end to your nonproductive defiance

Hey Taliban, don't you schmucks realize that what you are doing is wrong.

Oh, I apologize, you don't because you have been fighting this long.

So don't allow your clerics to keep placing backpacks on you because you are not going to school.

When those explosives detonate, then the entire world will realize that the Taliban have all died as fools.