Sarah Palin, Speedwriter

Sarah PalinSarah Palin has put all us writers to shame. Four months ago, Harper Collins announced that the former Alaska governor and vice-presidential nominee would write her memoirs. Yesterday, it was announced that the memoirs were finished and would be in bookstores in November, just in time for the holiday shopping season. Shows you that those writers who spend a year drafting, contemplating, editing, revising, and rethinking the language, tone and theme of their books, well, they're just a bunch of slackers.

Seriously, people, how much do you think you're going to learn from this pamphlet? How much introspection could this book possibly include? It's been less than a year since the presidential election and only a few months since she stepped down as governor. Not to mention the fly fishing and fundraising and Levi-Johnston bashing and speeches to Asian businesspeople. I don't know her definition of reflection, but I'm sure it's more than five minutes of thinking, "Gosh, I wish we would have won that election."

But forget about 20/20 hindsight. There are the mechanics of writing. I don't know a single writer who could draft 400 pages in four months. Nor do I know of a single editor who could slice and dice a 400-page book in that short time. Maybe it goes a lot faster when you have a team of ghostwriters speaking for you. I could go on about that, since I'm a real writer who believes in actually writing those pieces that have your byline, but I'll save my push for literary integrity for another time.

Ghostwriting only justifies the writing process. Greed justifies all the rest. A thoughtful person who wants to give an honest assessment might be willing to wait at least a year before penning his or her memoirs. Not our Mrs. Palin. If she knows nothing else (and she probably doesn't), she at least understands that she's a brand, a recognized name that delivers no substance but still generates a lot of interest. Basically, she's the Kim KardashianKim Kardashian of politics. That also includes understanding that the celebrity iron is fickle, white hot this year and ice cold the next. And how fortunate that HarperCollins, a subsidiary of News Corp., is just as eager to help her cash in.

When she does her book publicity tour, hitting Fox News and Facebook and nowhere else, I hope some pseudo-respectable journalist asks this one question, "How will this book benefit the people of Alaska?"