Caster Diva - an Operatic Saga of Mismanagement, Sport, and Lies.

For several weeks now the Caster Semenya debacle has made front-page headlines. Originally, those of us who are proud South Africans patted ourselves on the back for having notched up yet one more sporting medal. But then the storm broke: it seemed that Caster was not the gentle little-girl-next-door that we had all thought she was; instead, there were nasty rumours throughout the athletic fraternity that she just might not be a little girl at all.

I seem to remember this happening to a Russian athlete quite a long time ago; when she was later tested, she turned out to be a hermaphrodite, and, I think, had to give the medal back. But we honest South Africans would never pull a fast one like that, would we? I mean to say, you could expect it of the wicked Russians during the Cold War; they would have gone to any length to pull the wool over our eyes; but a good, God-fearing South African would never dream of such a thing - would never be a party to such subterfuge; or would he?

Some days later, the team arrived back from Berlin, and, although I was not really listening to the radio, I heard a man saying he was Caster Semenya, and generally commenting on the team's performance. That evening, on TV, there was our athlete again, in all his/her hulking splendour, mounting a rostrum and saying a few words. I was amazed. This was clearly a man in every respect: it spoke like a man, moved like a man, had a man's muscles, a flat chest, a thick neck, and even a four o'clock shadow. To me, there could be no doubt, and yet our powers that be insisted that this was a genuine woman and threatened hellfire and damnation to anyone who said otherwise.

Now, several weeks further down the track, our wonderful Mr Chuene has admitted that he lied; he lied to us as a nation; he lied to the ASA; he lied to those who made Berlin happen; worst of all, he knew what the results of a possible gender test would be, and so he lied to Caster. He made not only fools of all of us, but cheats, and that is quite unforgivable. Even worse, he caused an innocent person (athlete, man, woman, whatever) untold suffering at the hands of the media as his/her private life was dissected and the very core of his/her being was put in question on all our front pages.

There have been several famous hermaphrodites in this world - one of them was the famous Mrs Simpson for whom Edward VIII gave up his throne - and there have been a good many unknowns who have never made the front pages. The moral of the story: be sure your sins will find you out. The lesson to be learned: dont lie unless you are quite sure you can and will get away with it - and lying of this magnitude, to these august international bodies, could never have been successful.

Resign Leonard Chuene while you still have some dignity left - and disappear while we try to forget the disgrace you have visited upon us and the pain and suffering you have caused Semenya. The whole thing is worthy of an opera.