Teen relationship abuse

It is hard to believe as a parent that your child whom you remember taking to the zoo as a 5year old is now a teen in the dating world. It is an adjustment for parents and teens alike.
When a teen becomes more independent in their relationships some crucial decisions come into play when dating enters their life. They invite another into their intimate circle and as parents you guide as best you can without trying to control their every move. It is important to note love is not abuse.

What ever the circumstance, dialog is crucial to a teen’s life of dating and future.
It is time to get in the present as a parent. You no longer have a child you have a teen
and dating is apart of their life. Learning about healthy relationships is as important as
talking to your teen about sex, or drugs. It can shape their life as an adult and their future relationships.

Do something.org Reports 50% of Youth Surveyed are Personally Affected by Teen Dating Violence today. Nancy Lublin, CEO and Chief of DoSomething.org said,” We had heard so many anecdotes, so we decided to do an actual survey to get the numbers-and what we've unearthed is an epidemic."

What is dating abuse? And how can your teen tell if they are being abused or causing abuse?

Abuse is no respecter of age, race, or religion; it can happen to anyone at any age. Dating abuse is a pattern of controlling behavior that someone using against another. In this day of technology abuse can encompass many additional forms than in the past. Parents get computer savvy and up on technology so that you can be more aware. Do not degrade or accuse your teen be a listener and be knowledgeable.

Some red flag warning signs that could possibly mean abuse are:

*no longer hanging out with his/her circle of friends
*wearing the same clothing
*distracted when spoken to
*constantly checking cell phone, gets extremely upset when asked to turn phone off
*withdrawn, quieter than usual
*angry, irritable when asked how they are doing
*making excuses for their boyfriend/girlfriend
*showering immediately after getting home
*unexplained scratches or bruises

According to Liz Claiborne Inc. who commissioned Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU) in March of 2006, the statistics on teen abuse and the results were astounding; 1 and 5 teens are abused. The survey also found that 1 and 3 girls felt concerned about being physically hurt by their partner. 75% of
Parents do not know their teens are being abused or physically hurt by their partners. 69% of parents
were unaware that their teen was pressured by their partner to perform oral sex. 58% of parents were
unaware that their teen had been hit, slapped, pushed, punched, kicked or chocked by their partner.

Being scared is not a normal part of a relationship things may not always be perfect but if you are ever
frightened or hurt it is not time for excuses such as, “well I shouldn’t have made them mad or if I just
said it differently than they wouldn’t hurt me.” There is never an excuse for abuse.

See these sites for additional information:

http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/healthy-relationships/


http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/

National Domestic Violence Hotline to officially launch loveisrespect.org,
The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (NTDAH) is a 24-hour national telephone helpline and website http://www.ntdah.org/resource-center/love-campaign/love%20resources/