How an Unexpected Friendship With Pakistan Changed My View About War

What Every American Needs To Know About Pakistan

By Asher Kade

Close you eyes for a moment. Now describe what you envision as soon as I say 'Pakistan'. Head wraps? Burkhas? Mosques? Crowded open markets? War? Jihad? Terrorism? Is there anything positive about Pakistan (or the Middle East) in the news these days?

When I conduct research for my articles, there isn't a whole lot out there but war propaganda and cultural hatred for the Middle East. I assume the same could be said about Middle Eastern views of us Americans. Therefore, I embarked on a journey to seek the truth, the inside truth if you will, on what the Middle East is really about. What could I learn not already on the Internet? What could I glean beyond my country's and my own understanding? While one man's prospective is not the sum total of its parts, I was privileged to have an interview with a young man in Pakistan; the truth was revealing. A lot of trust, integrity, and time went into this interview piece (from both parties). I hope by reading it, you will find as great of a joy, enlightenment, and satisfaction as I received from this quest.

Please state your name, occupation, age, marital status, and town/province you live in for me (if using a pseudonym or fake name, please make that clear):

"Name: Ahmed AliAhmed Ali (pseudonym)

Occupation: marketing executive of textiles

Age: 40 yrs

Marital Status: married

Town/Province: Karachi/Sindh"

How many kids do you have? What are their names, ages, and school grades?

"I have a daughter and two sons. Haya (pseudonym) is my elder daughter. She is now 6 years of age and is now in grade II. Omar (pseudonym) is 4 and Hasan (pseudonym) is 11 months old. Omar just started his preparatory school."

Do you have brothers, sisters (how many?) and is your mom and dad still alive and communicate with you often?

"I have 4 brothers and 3 sisters. I am the youngest in my family. Dad passed away last year. Myself and my eldest brother live in our family home along with our mother."

What are your favorite foods? Explain them, as we probably have not heard of them before. (Or foods you eat often) Anything special you eat on special occasions? Who prepares it?

"My favorite food is Biryani (rice cooked with spices along with pieces beef or chicken), a verity of curries which we eat with either roti (local bread) or with rice. Another favourite of mine is 'daal and chawal' (rice and lentils) and kebabs (I think you know this one). Wife usually prepares the food."

What holidays do you celebrate, which one is your favorite, and how do you celebrate those holidays? Be specific, again.

Eid-ul-fitr is the main festival which falls at the end of fasting month (Ramazan). On the three days of this festival we usually go to meet our relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, wife's aunts and uncles, etc. and the list is extensive) and eat sheer (sweet vermicelli) and give money to children."

"Eid-ul-Azha is the other festival. In this festival people who have the money buy goats/sheep/cows for sacrifice to mark the sacrifice of Abraham. The meat of this sacrifice is distributed amongst the needy and the poor, a portion is also given to the relatives and one portion is prepared at home in different dishes and shared with friends and family."

"August 14 is Pakistan's Independence Day where people put flags on their homes and cars."

What are your hobbies, favorite ways to pass time, favorite people you hang out with regularly?

"I used to play Cricket(which is like baseball) and my hobbies include playing table-tennis and recently I have taken up blogging. As a family we usually go to see movies or to eat out or to meet with relatives. I have a few friends whom I like to hang out wherever I could. I also enjoy traveling whenever I get the chance and I have been to Europe many times and I have also seen much of Pakistan."

How did you meet your wife? Was it an arranged marriage? Do you mind telling me her name? Do you have one wife, several, been divorced, had a wife that died, believe in divorce?

"My wife's name is Sarah (pseudonym). She used to work in the same place as myself. It was a love marriage but was arranged as well as my parents approved of our marriage. I only have one wife (and I want it that way) and I have only married once. Divorce is always an option as our religion gives guidelines when the marriage is simply not working."

What is your religion, language you speak, and ethnicity? (Please give as much details as possible-most Americans do not understand much about this) Is it the same as your wife's?

"Religion is Islam and I like to be called Muslim. I speak Urdu language (it is a combination of many languages but the text is Arabic). I was born in Pakistan but my parents migrated from India during the partition. My wife's ethnicity is the same as myself."

Is it important to have the same ethnicity and religion as your wife?

"I do not think so!"

What is your social status or position in your village or town? (For an example, are you wealthy and educated, poor and struggling in an agricultural or rural area?) What kind of house do you live in, do you have a car and what kind? Do you mind telling me your income per year or month, or at least an average amount?

"I belong to the upper-middle class of Pakistani society. I live in Karachi which is a city of 20 million people and the largest city of Pakistan. My family does not own businesses but we are doing well in our respective jobs. Our family home is big (1000 sq. yards) and I have a Suzuki car. Approximately I make around $11,000 yearly."

See typical wages in Pakistan.

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Do you have access to regular medical care, education, and modern conveniences like reliable utilities and a phone-I assume you do with being on the Internet, but please explain to Americans what daily life is really like for you.

"I have access to medical care (which is a thriving business here), education, (as I have done my MBA), we do have all the modern conveniences of life but lately Pakistan is going through an energy crisis because of which electricity supply has been greatly disrupted . In the worst days of June and July, we did have 6-8 hours of outages. We have about 60 local TV channels."

What do you love most about your country? (Brag all you want!)

"I love Pakistan because it is MY country. I cannot call any other country as my home nor do I feel at home in any other country. I call it my country it has given me whatever I have. Whatever I have I owe to this country. I wish I could brag about my country but I cannot!"

What would you like to change about it?

"There is so much to change. I would like to see the poverty, the hunger and the illiteracy eradicated from Pakistan. I would love to see my country as a progressive and developed nation. I would love to change the thinking of people who have been made slaves in the name of religion because they have been deprived of education and hence free-thinking. I would love to make them politicians accountable for their actions. Change is required in each and every aspect of our lives."

How do you feel about the war that is going on?

"Fortunately we live in the south and there is no war here. What we read of war is only in the newspapers. I am a strong supporter of the army action in the northern areas and I think it should have been done much earlier."

What do you think your country or our country could have done differently or changed to have a different outcome? What outcome would you have desired the war to be?

"I am a forward looking person so I really cannot comments on what could have been done differently as what has been done is done. I now want to see Taliban finished off from Warziristan and other areas."

Will you be following the elections in Afghanistan? Can you tell me what your feelings are about the terrorism surrounding the elections?

"I do not think that elections will change anything in Afghanistan because the voter turnout is so low. I feel that the people of Afghanistan are so poor and illiterate that they will need a long time to realize what they really need to do. I think the American forces there should keep up their pressure on the Taliban."

Have you ever been a victim of terrorism or known someone who was?

"Fortunately, I have not been affected by this war directly nor I have met any person who was a victim of it."

What is something you fear? What is something you hate?

"I fear extremists taking over Pakistan and I hate the people who supported the Taliban."

Is there something you love (beside your family)?

"I love my country and I want to see it prosper."

Do you have any regrets? Is there something you wish you had accomplished?

"I do not have any regrets and I feel that my real accomplishments are yet to come."

What do you want Americans to know about you, your country, and myths that you want to clear or eliminate about your people? (Like many Americans don't think Middle Easterns want peace, believe in God, etc) Have these false myths been a challenge for you, or people you know, when interacting with Americans?

"Although I have never been to USA but I think America is an inward looking society. 20 years back I don't think many Americans even knew if there is such a place called Pakistan. Americans need to realize that being the world power they have certain responsibilities towards other people and cultures that are not similar towards their own. American policy makers also need to realize that their decisions and actions have certain implications which come back as full circle."

"I feel that what Obama Administration has said are very positive but now strong actions are now required in order to bridge the gap between USA and the Muslim world. Americans now need to realize that all Muslims are not terrorists and there are reasons why certain Muslims have turned towards extremism. Mainly these reasons are the biased policies of the previous administrations towards Muslims."

What do you remember about your country and the challenges it faced when you were very young? How does your country differ now?

"As far as I am concerned, the country is still facing the same problems it faced 20 years ago. There is still poverty, illiteracy, and very little progress. But the real difference now is various channels to vent out ones' opinions and people are now speaking out."

I want to personally thank Ahmed (whose name I promised to not publicize) for giving me the unique opportunity to share his personal life to me when orchestrating this piece. Though I was the sole author of this article, he had a strong hand in editing and giving literary opinions on the final draft. I hope to have many more interviews like this to come!