Serie A predictions - Italian soccer

Here are my predictions from 1-20 for the Serie A scudetto. The fun part about Italian soccer is that the bad teams just play all defense, while some of the middle teams have no defense, which causes for some upsets to occur more frequently than usual.

1. Inter Milan. Eto'o, Milito, Cambiasso, Muntari, Zanetti, Balotelli along with Julio Cesar in goal ensures that Inter Milan will repeat.

2. Juventus. The key will be Diego. If Juventus is able to transition better from defense to offense through him, then they should be able to topple Inter Milan for the scudetto. Otherwise, they will be second just like last year even with the horrible defense that they have.

3. AC Milan. Signing Huntelaar last week ensures a top three spot.

4. Lazio. Beating Inter Milan this weekend proved that they do belong. Lazio should get back to their winning ways this season.

5. Napoli. The problem with Napoli last year was that they did not have a top-flight scorer at the striker position. Well, they solved that problem by getting Quagliarella from Udinese. No more 1-0 losses for 3 months straight.

6. Genoa. Not having Milito will hurt them because he scored just about all of their goals last season, but the signings of Crespo, Floccari, and Acquafresca will help their overall depth.

7. Roma. If Totti gets hurt, they end up 7th. If he does not get hurt, they could end up 3rd.

8. Fiorentina. They needed more defense, but they did not sign any new defenders during the offseason. However, their offense is really good with Adrian MutuAdrian Mutu. All people named Adrian are cool. Yo Adrian!

9. Atalanta. They had problems scoring up front as well, but they poached Simone Tribocchi from relegated Lecce. He will need to score plenty of goals because their defense is horrible.

10. Udinese. Offense good. Defense bad.

11. Palermo. Offense real good. Defense real bad. Homosexuals like this team because the color of their jerseys are pink. If you play fantasy soccer, then have at least one of their midfielders or strikers on your team. They have a lot of 3-2 and 4-3 games.

12. Sampdoria. This team will continue to underachieve.

13. Siena. This team brought in 10 new players. It will take time for them to mesh within their team system.

14. Parma. Parma is back. Bojinov is real good, but being back from Serie B has hurt their depth.

15. Catania. This team usually ends up winning more games than they are supposed to. This team works hard so they should be able to hold off relegation.

16. Chievo. Chievo came back from the dead in the last two months of the season to secure another season in the Serie A. I give you a warning; do not look directly at their bright yellow jerseys if you watch them play in HD. The defense is extremely bad, but Pellissier will keep them in some games to escape relegation.

17. Bologna. I think that they will escape relegation again. Marco DiVaio scores plenty of goals. The team gives up plenty of goals. A fun team to watch play.

18. Cagliari. This team will be relegated because Cagliari was a one-man team last year with Acquafresca, but he is gone to Genoa. Cagliari is now a no-man team.

19. Bari. They do not have any players that I have heard of. They will lose a lot of their games by four or five goals.

20. Livorno. I have never heard of any of their players on their team either. They will be pummelled as well during the season.

Please enjoy the Serie A season because places 4 through 14 are pretty much interchangeable due to the parity of the league. I advise all Serie A fans to not be racist at the games; stop throwing bananas at black players. Italians have no right to be racist; the Roman Empire was defeated about 1,600 years ago. Italy will never be great again.