Am I the only dumbass who doesn't know how to roll a J?

My dad visits at lunch to find me in the back yard sunbathing with a buggeler sitting in HIS cigar ash tray...At first it seems as if he doesn't notice but then...oh--wait for it....

"YOU're smoking a DOOBY? Jesus Christ."

"No, dad it's just a rolly cigarette--rolling tobbacco." I said, now causually brandishing my package of "Buglers" (Credits to a certain Cody & Caleb.)

"God Hayley..." my dad sighed disapprovingly, making his way subconsciously inside before stopping at the door, "let me smell it..."

He walked over to me reaching out for the cigaratte, so I laughed casually and held up the "joint" in question.

He sniffed at it casually, with the force and false security that he is in charge of the world around him, then snickered himself.

"You've got to cut that out Hayley, I mean it."

He put the cigarette back and walked inside of my house to grab the trashcans or merely to lurk behind a one-way mirror (my heavy, sun-reflecting, sliding glass doors) where he could watch tv, maybe eat, read the paper, but then also be permitted to "catch me in the act" if anything else had been going on out here in the backyard.

I continued smoking the rolly, left behind in the tobbacco by my friend Cody, which was a god send considering I can't roll a cigarrette to save my life!

Honestly, I just tried, and managed to get a thick m*********** for a cigarette, then right as I lit it, I knew why it was a bad idea--my eyes watered, my nose started draining, and I had to hock a logue somewhere.

Luckily enough, out here where my dad smokes cigars on our back patio, the ground is laid brick that takes quite a beating from mother nature, so I just took care of the issue: a lady-like cough and spit.

Being struck by the trade winds blowing through the valleys of California, I was moved inside to get my guitar and attempt to jam allong with my SoCal radio-speakers blasting old Blink 182. I felt like I missed the train.

Some five years ago, all my people were going to Warped Tour and buying their first packages of pink hair dye, but now they've all been around the block and are too tired to start any real shit.

Maybe I'm just missing the obvious.

Starting something I can't see untill it's too late. Until it's so far down the line that there's nothing I can do to change it. But by then, I'll have kids to take care of that for me, right?

Oh the California sun and breeze certainly does somemthing to people.

Everyone have a nice afternoon. It's 5 o'clock somewhere!