Spam Is Bad for Business

AAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'm choking on spam! My box is crammed daily with all kinds of scams, rip-offs, and shenanigans I can get myself involved in (if I'm stupid enough to do it). I've been so careful to keep this one particular business inbox free and clear because, well, sometimes I get important emails. Last week I was working on my music library and decided to google free music to see if, perchance, any music mega-stars had taken notice of the economic meltdown and took a minute or so to think of their fans, maybe grace us with a little song to remind us why we used to drop $20 per CD for them.

It looked for awhile like there was no one who had thought of me as a fan, because I didn't find not even a single chorus that I could use, until...... I found just what I was looking for. 400 FREE MUSIC downloads. FREE....the word is splattered all over the site. I had to, of course, create an account and sign in before I could get even a list of the free music, but what the hey?!?! It's free, and it takes just 5 minutes. POOF! Except once the account is created you then need to pay an initial ONE TIME FEE of $29.95. Now, I don't know about you folks, but FREE does not mean $29.95.

Within minutes of exiting the site my inbox was flooded with trash. I don't mean a few stray spam messages here and there. These geniuses are dumping on me to the tune of 50+ pieces of trash per day. I wasn't stupid enough to use my real address or my real phone number on the account, haha. I hope they drive themselves fool crazy trying to reach me at that number, and I really hope they bank on money from me, while they're at it. Yeah, I am so very very very truly tempted to scam them out of products and money. Isn't that what they intended for me? I could just sign up for them, and never deliver, just as they did. Oh, no, wait......I'll get sued and be paying for it for years if I do that.

So.... Here I sit, seething fury at some of the biggest names in the country.... Target, Kohl's, WalMart, JC Penney...oodles more of them. These tactics lead me in, deep into their muck and mire of horse manure that I didn't want, I didn't need, and I didn't sign up for, and I am mad! Where do they get off manipulating people this way?!?!?! Everything from business cards to massages for GREAT WONDERFUL prices, yet I've still no music, and, (did everyone pay attention above?) I only wanted MUSIC.

Frigging liars, thieves, and stupid people...... I want to K-I-C-K them.