Fixies should DIE.

Don't buy a fixed gear bike.

There. I said it, and I'll be damned if I didn't mean it.

It's not going to make you cool, or eccentric, or anything else for that matter. You are only going to hurt yourself without those "non-purist" brakes. There is a reason people tend to embrace technology as it evolves, and your iphone is proof of that. Riding your fixed gear bike is liking using a Startac cellular phone.

While you are at it, don't get a white ink tattoo, or that hip ironic-mullet haircut. The tattoo will bring you a lot of grief when it yellows and looks ugly, and the mullet will just make people confuse you for a lesbian, whether you are a boy or a girl.

I'm getting tired of all you awkward and confused young men and women riding around on your idiot bicycles, in your grandparent's clothes, with self-cut hair, talking to me like I don't understand what you are saying because I'm afraid to think outside the box.

This trend has gone on every decade since before time. People have to do something "off-the-wall" and "different", so they can establish an identity in this world. What do you think hippies, beatniks, gangsters, the whole eighties decade, and scene kids all have in common?

That's right, when you try to rebel against your parents, you are really just like them.

So, stopping searching craigslist for your fixie, go put on whatever clothes you really feel comfortable in, and walk outside. It's fine to help out the environment by "going green", but don't preach it to every person you come across. FYI, most of us are already aware of the benefits of recycling.

It's a lot more attractive when you're not afraid to like what you like, regardless of everyone else.