Social Systems Lack Services

It all began last week, with a text message from my husband: "I want a divorce." Firstly, how rude!? Not even a phone call? Secondly, seriously? Now, my first reactions weren't necessary at all, so I'll fast forward. Once Monday approached, I hit up the social services office in Calvert County. I applied for just about everything under the sun considering my husband left our bank account in the negative, then closed it the moment he got paid, leaving me nothing for myself or our 8 month old daughter. Now the reason I'm reporting this is that it seems there are many going through something similar. Those of you not familiar with the Social Service system need to be prepared. It's not what you'd hope it to be, but it can still offer some help. I also hope to reach out, become available to others, and help those in need if they cannot find the resources themselves.

The first thing social services CAN do for you is food stamps. Even that can take up to 24 hours, meaning there's no such thing as emergency relief or help. No sense in naming something that then, is there? I was a little annoyed with the concept, especially after explaining how I barely had gas to get home; how was I supposed to look for a job the day after tomorrow, when I come to pick up my independence card (24 dollars for myself and infant for two weeks!). But essentially, you fill out the paper work, they may have something left in their food pantry that day, and anywhere from 2-4 weeks, you should have yourself a good amount of grocery money. Obviously the lack of EMERGENCY relief is the most problematic. I mean, I was pretty desolate. I eventually was able to contact my husband's sergant to hassle a few hundred from him which went to bills and formula, and didn't last long. I definitely suggest financial counseling to be a mandatory class for all high school students. Not only is our economy suffering from unintelligible budgeting, but our marriages are falling apart as well. They also gave me a list of local food pantries and phone numbers to organizations such as WIC and BIRTH RITE. I definitely took advantage of a nearby food pantry, and I'm playing phone tag with WIC.

I was also able to apply for a program that requires me to run around to local businesses, begging for employment, and have them sign a piece of paper saying they're not hiring. I also have to take a drug test and supply ample documentation proving mine and my daughters true identity, lack of funds, and the like. The program also offers listings to local child care providers, centers and in-home, with a variaty of rates. The issues with this program are numerous when you have absolutely no money to fill up your tank to drive around, or have no public transportation. I have been job hunting on the internet, sending out my resume to anything close to any ability I possess. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to make it to my drug test appointment, when I'm also supposed to turn in all those documents, which will then kick me out of the program. If I can't afford food, gas, or utilities (also taking advantage of MEAP), how am I to pay for daycare until benefits come through? You can now begin to understand the overwhelming panic of single parenthood mixed with desolation. It's especially flustering to think that if I weren't getting a divorce, I could get free daycare through my huband's military benefits, IF I had wanted to work. Grr!

I'm being pestered to get a lawyer; just another bothersome fee. My advice, let him do all the legal leg work. I don't have to sign anything, or do anything until I'm ready. Being that I'll lose all of my benefits once everything is finalized, "time is on my side" as the Rolling Stones have sung. All I can do for the time being is continue my search for a job, as my dream of being a stay-at-home-mom is shattered. I also need to follow through, and take advantage of the benefits our government does provide, and simmer my hatred towards drug addicts, loser's too lazy to get real jobs, and neglectful parents. I'm most angry at those who have made it so difficult for ud who are in real need, those who take for GRANTED what our country truly has to offer. I'm also upset at the fact that with all the technology we have, we can't find a way to help people in serious need IMMEDIATELY. As much as we depend on our government to save us, the government expects our families to stick together and help each other in times of need. Well, America is deteriorating within the family and it's eroding our values we express on the outside (our media, economy, social classes, etc.). What else are we supposed to do but runaway from responsibilities, become apathetic towards the needy, and become bitter when no one helps us in our hour of need?

For Calvert County Community Phone Numbers, information on basic social services programs and help finding local resources, feel free to email me: http://mailto:scspangler03@yahoo.com and include in the subject line that you are in need of info concerning social services. Good luck fellow survivors!