Hot Young Centerfold Model Seeks Middle-aged, Unemployed Perv
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Hot Young Centerfold Model Seeks Middle-aged, Unemployed Perv

Sacramento : CA : USA | Jun 29, 2009 at 5:09 PM PDT
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Lately I've been noticing these ads on Facebook that show some scantily clad young lady who appears to be half as young as her bra size. And the ads say, "Someone is looking for you."

Do they mean to imply that the scantily clad girl is looking for me? Because I don't know her. And if I did know her, I fully expect that she would ignore me, as scantily clad young ladies do and always have done. I mean, I may be middle-aged, overweight and unemployed but I refuse to succumb to stupidity.

Why do I know this? Because in all my life I've never seen a personals ad that said something like, "Sexy and free-spirited girl seeks overweight, middle-aged, unemployed male for wild, passionate interludes."

I think the root of gullibility must be wishful thinking. A guy like me sees an ad like that and thinks, "Ooohhh... that girl is looking for me!" It's not unlike people who read an ad that says, "I have millions of dollars that I'm just dying to give away. Send me $20 and I'll tell you how to get me to give you my millions." And these gullible people read that ad and they say, "Ooohhh... millions! Where's my check book?"

Wishful thinking makes people gullible in very much the same way that alcohol makes ugly girls look hot. It isn't real... it's an illusion. But you believe it because the "files" in your brain have been tampered with. They've been corrupted. You have a virus.

The gullibility virus can't be fixed with antivirus software, because it's a virus in your brain - not on your computer. You can eat more fruits and vegetables, and that can't hurt but it won't fix it. But I also don't promote the "reality check" method of cleaning the gullibility virus from the brain, because it's much too harsh.

And so you ask, "What is the reality check method?" It's where you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Hot girls don't want me, and no one is going to give me millions of dollars." It's like using an abrasive cleanser on a delicate surface. It may clean it, but it will scratch it all up in the process. Your ego can be a sensitive thing - you can't just look at yourself and say, "Nobody likes me." On the other hand you can't very well look at yourself and say, "People like me" if nobody does.

So what's the solution? Well, I don't know about you but I'm waiting for a hot young scantily clad lady to come along with millions of dollars to give me tax free and to tell me the answer. She should be along any minute now - I just know it.

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David Smith is based in Lincoln, California, United States of America, and is a Stringer on Allvoices.
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