Funny Wedding Vows

May its a perfect month to get married, actually May its known as the Wedding's month! So check out these funnies Wedding Vows and choose yours.

Groom

I, (name) choose you, (name) to be my partner in life. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses and to look after you if you get sick. I will love you always.

Bride

I, (name) choose you, (name) as my life partner and in front of friends and family I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may be put in our path. I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screenwash when it runs out. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win.I will remember this day and will love you always.

"I promise to make your favorite fruit smoothies on Sundays."

As Brad PittBrad Pitt and Jennifer AnistonJennifer Aniston promised each other, "I vow to split the difference on the thermostat."

Groom: I promise to love you as much as the Chicago Cubs and not hold your black and white striped dress against you. From this day forward, I will listen to all of your complaints about the mall if you say them during the off season, and promise to retire my baseball cap and face paint for public outings. I will love you in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death parts us, or you become a White Sox fan.

Bride: I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card and not hold your poor fashion sense against you. I will only show you my new clothes during commercial breaks and promise to keep you in the latest Cub fashions. From this day forward, I will make sure your lucky shirt is washed for every game day, and will have plenty of potato chips on hand. I will love you for richer or poorer, as long as our credit limit stays high.

Groom: I promise to love and cherish you as much as I do our dog, Spot. From this day forward, I will lint roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits. I promise to cuddle with you as much as I do Spot and pick you up treats whenever he gets some, too.

Bride: From this day forward, I promise to declaw my cat Fluffy so that you are not scratched. I will always make sure the litter box is clean and will keep Fluffy out of Spot’s house. I will love you for richer or poorer, so long as Fluffy gets the gourmet cat food.

I John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
To be together in happiness and strife,
To have and to hold,
Even if your cooking grows mold.
I love you in richness and in debt,
And cherish all moments since we have met.
I promise to love you until the end of my days,
As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.
I pledge to be faithful
Even when we’re old and dull.

Funny Wedding Vows - Financial Jibes

I, John, take you Mary, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold and to be financially responsible for from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

I, Mary, take you John, to be my lawfully wedded husband... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for when you buy all those expensive toys...

Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to and with the toilet seat after until death do you part?

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.