My Life On Craigslist

On January 19, 2009, Jimmy, my supervisor called me into the conference room. He has an office. Why would he want me in the conference room? My friends, the rumors are true. When your boss wants to meet with you in an office that is neither his nor yours, you are going to lose your job… or get a birthday cake. My birthday is not on January 19th.

When I entered the room Jimmy was there with another department head, Steve. I do not know why he was there. I am assuming he was back up, since he is a husky guy, but I am only 130 pounds and Jimmy is not a small guy that I can “take down“. Maybe he is there in case I am carrying a weapon so he can scream, “she has a knife!” Maybe he was there because he was bored and firing someone sounded like an interesting thing to do.

“This can NOT be good”, I said. Jimmy, who is normally laid back and often speaks in a relaxed dragged out fashion, was now sitting up straight and using legal jargon. Just looking at the situation, I really did not need to understand what he was saying, which helped because I REALLY did not fully understand the twisted and complicated words that he was uttering. It was clear, I was about to become a figure in that increasing number of unemployed people. So ended my reign at an awesome job and started my life on Craigslist.

I have picked a fine time to be searching for a job on Craigslist. There has been the Craigslist Killer and a the reporter that was killed after a liaison with someone he met on the site. Thankfully, instead of scaring me away it often serves as a reminder… that I need to check the site for updates.

Seriously, I try to be careful. My rules to Craigslist: 1. Do NOT respond to ads of people who want me to come to their homes. 2. Do NOT answer ads that are vague. 3. Do NOT answer ads from people who want weird freaky things. I am a business professional and not a… well I do not want to single out anyone. I can lose a reader that way!

What has my experience been like? Well, let me start by saying that never in my 21 (that is my story and I’m sticking to it) years did I ever think I would ever see a classified ad for a Dominatrix and not just any ole Dominatrix, they want a professional one! How, do you become a professional dominatrix? Wait! Do not answer that! I do NOT want to know!

One ad that I applied to was to become a “Super Duper Pooper Scooper” for a company that is rightly called “Doody Calls”. Humiliating work? Maybe, but it has been fun to say. I feel as if I should run up to the door of a person who did not think his dog would actually poop and shout, “I’m your Super Duper Pooper Scooper and I hear” in a menacing tone, “Doody Calls”!

Craigslist does have some ads that fall into my field of work and has been a really good site with new help wanted ads regularly added. At the same time it has been quite entertaining. I am a bit nebbish* and find the thought of me barefoot at a party were people are paying me around $300 to worship my feet, quite amusing. Gross (sorry foot fetish people, I think feet are disgusting) and weird, yet very amusing.

Hopefully, I will find a job soon. Until then, I will spend my time with the many colorful people on Craigslist.

*Yiddish 101: Nebbish - awkward person, timid, etc.