Gnome Chumsky: not a garden-variety pal

Gnome Chumsky, the erstwhile reclusive author of "Manufacturing a Tent" who believes the brain is at least partly hard-wired for anguish, is back from some lengthy overseas assignments and is spending the next several days in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Chumsky is visiting the West Coast this week after nine months in Glastonbury, England, where he was stationed as a "Silent Observer" as part of a top-secret Crop Circle Creation Observation Crew (CCCOC) or, as CCCOC team members like to say to each other, "Three See, Oh See." Chumsky supervised Punditty Project gardeners with their spring planting tasks over the weekend and strongly advised planting in rows, not circles.

Unlike his similarly named famous human counterpart, Noam ChomskyNoam ChomskyNoam Chomsky, for whom he is sometimes mistaken, Gnome Chumsky never taught at MIT. In 1974, however, he did teach Transcendental Meditation (TM) for six months in Laguna Beach before being removed from the classroom by a young woman who called herself "Starla" at the time. Chumsky spent the next 9 years on the road with various fans of the Grateful Dead, finally resuming his studies in Advanced Theoretical Physics at Cornell in 1983.

While in the Bay Area, Chumsky hopes to take in a Golden State Warriors game and see some comedy at The Punchline. He plans on watching this weekend's NCAA action with Team Punditty at the Pundittio Annex in El Sobrante and is in 100 percent agreement with Punditty that Louisville will win the tournament. For obvious reasons, he is supporting the St. Mary's Gaels in the NIT.

On April Fool's Day, Chumsky is scheduled to address a gathering of internationally acclaimed linguists at a linguini luncheon on the topic of Silence as Voice during his much-anticipated colloquium, "Chumsky in Circles: Speechless Communication in a Brave New Age of Multidimensional Overlap."

The European intellgensia is said to be on edge in anticipation of the event, which one long-time Chumsky admirer predicts will be "a tour de force of stony logic and raw presence."

Chumsky's half-brother, Gnomer Pyle, said he hopes the silent lecture will go a long way toward getting Chumsky out from under Chomsky's shadow.

"We Gnomes are often given short shrift when it comes to popular culture, but if people listen, just really listen, to Gnome's lecture on April Fool's Day, then I think they'll see he's quite a scholar in his own right."

Chumsky will be flying to Washington immediately following the lecture, where he'll brush up on his remote viewing skills before throwing out the first pitch April 6 at Camden Yards for the Baltimore Orioles home opener against the New York Yankees.

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