What colour is Uganda’s stolen money?

By Simon E. Omoding

This last weekend something that immediately attracted my attention happened in Kampala. Three leaders of Uganda’s leading Christian denominations; Roman Catholic, Anglican and Orthodox, under their umbrella organization, Uganda Joint Christian Council, issued a terse media statement telling their flock: “Don’t bring your stolen money to the church”

For starters, Uganda is, at least statistically, a predominantly Christian country; with 45% of the population being Catholic, 40% Anglican, 5% other Christian denominations, the remaining 5% is Muslim and others. Statistically, Uganda is supposed to be a country of well brought up people (ooops, at the risk of sounding like Joseph KonyJoseph Kony)- who follow the 10 commandments.

But the reverse is true. The World Bank in a 2005 report said that the country loses up to Uganda shillings 500billion (US$250million) to corruption annually. This, in a country where the road network is a mess! In Kampala, the capital for example, for every 1Km of potholes, only 100metres is road. Let me put this another way by repeating this joke for you: It is said that if you find someone driving swerving left right and centre in Kampala, he is sober, but if you find another driving straight, he’s drunk (a drunk worries less about damage to his car). Someone will tell you a similar story about Uganda’s health sector, education or whatever. The point is, corruption is endemic, even the powers that be admit it; only they say they are fighting it.

In recent years, Uganda has reared some real billionaires; with real cash. Today the talk in town is about how much one’s house (called “pad” in Kampala speak) is worth, how posh one’s car (“mortie” in our speak) is or who gives his wife (or mistress) the biggest birthday surprise gift. And that’s not all, also who makes the biggest donations to the church or who buys some bland musician’s new CD with the biggest dollars or shillings.

There is away our billionaires needed the churches: to make statements. Now that the men of the cloth in our traditional churches, that we have prestige to belong to, have said “don’t bring it here” where will our billionaires go to show their billions?

I know, if you ask me. In our good old Kampala, we also have a phenomenon called “sowing.” Like any farmer does, when you scatter your seed, the moral of it is that by the end of the season you will harvest several fold the seed. And this is also the philosophy of “sowing” in the churches.

If you sow 1US$, you harvest US$5 or if the harvest is good US$10. If you sow US$1million, you harvest US$100million. That is how some of the churches in Kampala work.

A visit to our ubiquitous Pentecostal churches will not pass without a “sowing” session. A Pastor normally calls out in descending order those who have 10million, 1 million, half a million....to “sow” so that God will re-imburse several fold. Our billionaires, sitting at the front pews, jump to their feet, the moment the pastor calls for out for seven-digit ‘sowers”, who are normally “served” first.

So what’s going to happen with the “ban” by the Archbishops? I bet monied people want recognition, everywhere they go including. They wouldn’t go to church if they were not given front pews, if they were not introduced at the need of every services-and such trappings.

If you ask me, the rich are going to abandon the traditional churches; they will move to the “sowing” churches which will give them opportunity to show off their money. The back street Pentecostal churches must be smiling as the dime is coming their way. After all, what is the colour of the stolen money?