No beating around the George W. Bush: Timing right for Warner win in Super Bowl 43

Don’t ask why any of this matters, because there is no logical reason that it should. It’s all gibberish, double-talk and superstitious nonsense, replete with the kind of flawed logic and out-and-out idiocy that can doom gamblers, wreck marriages and set brilliant minds in search of meaningful clues where none exist. It is a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing other than a written means to justify a strange hunch about Super Bowl 43. The very act of writing it is an ongoing disclaimer against a belief in its own message. It is a mirror held not to the face but the gut – a bloated gut at that – capturing in words what passes for instinct. It is, in the words of the New York poet, musician and former junkie Jim CarrollJim Carroll, “just a constant warning to take the other direction.”

Readers looking for a well-constructed breakdown of Sunday’s Big Game will not find anything resembling that here. What they will find is a hodgepodge of non-linear, collage-like leaps of faith and contorted reasoning made en route to purely subjective conclusions. Take it or leave it, but here you have it.

Everything boils down to this: Kurt WarnerKurt Warner was the winning quarterback in the last Super Bowl before George W. BushGeorge W. Bush became president (Jan. 30, 2000), so it only makes a weird kind of “career sense” that Warner will win the Super Bowl again now that Bush’s presidency has concluded.

Emphasis on the word “weird” in the previous paragraph.

If you’ve read this far, you might be wondering why that potential reality leads Punditty to believe that it will happen. A fair question, and it deserves a straight answer: the 1992 Toronto Blue Jays.

In the fall of that year, as Ross PerotRoss Perot’s role in the presidential race shifted from contender to spoiler and made a Bill ClintonBill Clinton presidency increasingly likely, it became apparent to Punditty (then working under the stage name of DeRon Roosevelt Funk) that of course this would be a perfect opening for a Canadian team to finally win the World Series. It was a sick, twisted and, quite frankly, disturbing kind of “a-ha” moment that nonetheless sparked a kind of inner certainty the instant the thought formed – the same kind of moment Punditty experienced upon remembering that Clinton was still president when Warner and the Rams won it all in Georgia.

If you still don’t see the connections, bear with me:

1. Bill Clinton’s presidential bid was almost derailed when it was revealed he wasn’t entirely a straight shooter when it came to how he managed to stay out of Vietnam.

2. Ross Perot expended considerable time, effort and money trying to track down missing prisoners in Vietnam.

3. So-called “draft dodgers,” later pardoned by President Carter, fled to Canada during the same time period Clinton was avoiding Vietnam at Oxford.

These three apparently unrelated facts, of all the facts in the universe, led a clearly troubled Funk to predict in early September of 1992 that the Toronto Blue Jays would win the World Series. Toronto topped the Atlanta Braves that year, 4 games to 2.

As noted in the opening paragraph, the author readily notes the element of idiocy in this report. Other than reminding readers that GWB was the 43rd president and that Sunday's game will be Super Bowl 43, he cannot even supply a single reason why Warner should bookend Bush’s presidency with Super Bowl wins. The best he can do is to say it rings true.

In Kurt Warner’s case, make that rings two.

Punditty Prediction: Cardinals 30, Steelers 27 (OT)

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