How to keep the fiz in your open can of soda

"Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.” - Chris Rock

Those of you who followed Punditty’s career as a scribe before he assumed the user name "Punditty" know he once authored an e-book on how to quit drinking soda.

The whole premise of “Take a Break from Soda: A Workbook for Success” revolved around quitting soda completely for six weeks, then either staying off the pop or easing back into a non-habitual drinking pattern of no more than three or four sodas a week.

Punditty excelled on the six-week breaks from soda, going 4-for-4 in attempts at the 6-week mark over an 18-month period. The maintenance phase, however, has been problematic. This just goes to show both the insidious nature of soda and the weak-willed nature of Punditty’s taste buds when in close proximity of cold Dr. Pepper.

So, in the spirit of a gutter drunk who knows where to find a discarded bottle of booze with a few swills left, or a nicotine fiend rolling a cigarette from the discarded butts littering the streets, Punditty tips off his readers off how to keep their favorite pop snappin' and cracklin' with carbonation.

PLEASE NOTE: This seal-in-the-fizz information can also be useful for the socially responsible soda drinker, who may consume eight ounces of pop one afternoon, seal in the fizz, then finish off the can the following day. Either way, this method keeps the fizzy drink fizzy. May it serve you well.

The photos are labeled SODA1, SODA2, all the way through SODA6.

1. Secure supplies: Can of soda, plastic wrap, glass for the soda you want to consume at the time, and a snug-fitting “coolie cup” (designed to keep open cans colder and the drinking hand warmer). (SODA1)

2. Pour desired amount of pop into the glass. (SODA2)

3. Remove enough plastic wrap to cover the top of the soda can. (SODA3)

4. Place plastic over soda can, stretching tightly over the top of the can. (SODA4)

5. Place inverted coolie cup over can of soda, press cup downward. (SODA5, SODA6)

Presto!

Refrigerate and return to drink within 24 hours later. If you’ve followed the procedure correctly, the remaining soda will have retained full flavor and fizziness.

Coming in 2009: (IF Punditty can successfully kick the soda habit, again) A revised and improved edition of “Take a Break from Soda.” Check http://www.takeabreakfromsoda.com for regular updates.

More stuff that either makes too much sense or doesn’t really make much sense at all: http://www.punditty.com