Santa Claus is the Antichrist

Christian theology suggests that the Antichrist will be able to work counterfeit miracles, will oppose Christ, and substitute himself in Christ's place. The Antichrist is here, and his name is Santa ClausSanta Claus.

Yes, you read that correctly. I believe that Santa Claus is the Antichrist. Santa Claus already has a well-established following that opposes and acts as a substitute for Christianity. In fact, Santa Claus overshadows Jesus in every possible way, and on his birthday no less.

Santa Claus is the center of the media's attention in the Christmas season because, by comparison, programming about Jesus isn't captivating. Yes, the nativity is sweet, but the plot is rather rigid and the theme doesn't inspire spinoffs. Likewise, the nativity is devoid of opportunities for catchy jingles, special effects, pop culture relevance, or tie-in marketing.

Santa Claus inspires people to celebrate the birthday of a man who eschewed materialism by splurging on gifts. But because Santa loves giving people large, expensive gifts that look great under a Christmas Tree and are exciting to unwrap, everybody else should too. Not that they can't buy large, expensive gifts that are too big to fit under the Christmas Tree, of course.

It's easy to see how Santa Claus has been positioned as the new God. He's a larger-than-life, jolly man with superhuman powers who lives in a magical realm. With the help of his reindeer and elfin friends, he makes and distributes toys to all the well-behaved children in the world, and he punishes badly-behaved ones only with a lump of coal.

By contrast, while Jesus is the Son of God and the Savior of Man, his strongest public image is as a man being tortured to death.

Santa Claus is the perfect Antichrist, really. It's almost universally unpopular to hate him and he encourages people to behave in ways that make them forget or ignore Jesus' teachings.

Ironically, Santa Claus wouldn't have such a strong opposing influence if Christ's most dedicated followers would stop decrying, harassing, and boycotting stores that replace the word "Christmas" with secularly accessibly terms like "holiday".

But it's too late now anyway. The War on Christmas has been won, and the victor is Santa Claus and his corporate minions.