“Me and Johnny McCain”
(sung to the tune of “Me and Bobby McGee,”
with profound apologies to Kris Kristofferson and Janis Joplin)
Risin’ star in Alaska, waitin’ on McCain
To ask me if I’d be his running mate
Johnny only met me once, but he called just the same,
Pretty soon I’m out there, spreadin’ hate
I took out my lipstick from my store-bought Russian purse,
Applied it fine before I went onstage,
Johnny’s friends cheered my attacks,
Joe Sixpack had beers in hand, angry mobs dug my rap,
- I gladly fueled their misplaced rage
Chorus:
Maverick’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose
Maverick – hey now that’s what Johnny calls me!
Smearin’ That One’s easy, lord, when Johnny distorts truth,
And if we win those lies won’t be in vain, oh no,
Lies might work for me and Johhny McCain
With the hockey moms in Anchorage, at old haunts in Idaho,
Johnny knows I’ll hit below the belt,
I’ll play to crowd emotions, and my wink’s provocative,
They’ll forget the Bush McEconomy is hell
But somewhere on the campaign trail, lord, it all fell apart
Johnny saw that hate just ain’t no fun, oh no,
So I traded direct attacks for insinuation –
Take a look at what them terrorists have done!
Chorus:
Maverick’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose
Maverick – hey now that’s what Johnny calls me!
Smearin’ O is easy, lord, when Johnny turns me loose,
And smearin’s what I do to hide the pain, uh-huh,
Hide the pain of losin’ with Johhny McCain
Keep up the good work! You are an entertainer.