(Royters) U.S. Confirms the so-called North Korea Nuclear Tests were actually happening in Kim-Jong-un's underpants.
In an embarrasing admission today from Secretary of State , the United States, upon further examination of the data coming from North Korea's recent nuclear tests, that they were in error and in fact the tests were being 'conducted'.... in the young leader of North Korea's pants.
"The way we see it," said Kerry, red-faced before cameras in a press conference Saturday, "there were 4.5 richter-scale quakes measured and they were powerful enough to level, say... Hiroshema... if used for that purpose....however...what was really occuring were nuclear-level explosions in Kim Jong-un's underpants.
As we all know he didn't get so fat from eating celery, so we figure that boy must eat mountains of tacos and burrittos to build-up such nuclear-powered gas attacks which he then expels in nuclear-type explosions from his pants, " said Kerry.
In future the State Department will monitor Kim's pants with satellites to determine just when and where his next explosive nuclear-level gas may occur so that South Korea, the direct recepient of the noxious gas, may be alerted to put on gas-masks.