Sorry, I don’t have any P.K. chewing gum, but who cares about my onion breath, I mean, onions taste great. I like onions raw and I like onions barbequed. I like onions in a salad, in a yoghurt mix, on a sandwich, or just like an apple (only kidding, I’m not that much of a die-hard onion fan). But onion breath, whatever you do, don’t do Yoga, breath in and breath out your onion breath (‘oh no, they hit us with the onion breath’).
I’m getting up and saying they should make onion breath officially cool man. But not any kind of breath, let’s not make this confusing. There are some characters out there who really do have bad breath, and no thing-a-ma-jig is going to help such bad breath – ‘they hit us with the death breath’ (Drop Dead Fred movie). Onion breath could come under this category of death breath. But then again, why would you eat onions, to get death breath, I don’t think so. I could get all philosophical about onion breath, but na. Then again, onion breath could have healing properties – ‘breathe on them with your healing onion breath’. Now I won’t make it sound like I walk around all day with onion breath or have onion breath all day just for fun. This is serious business here, that’s if someone has taken onion breath and turned it into a business.
What should I have today, a brown onion or a red onion? And yes they come in colours. Oh, that’s right, onions are not apples. But red onions look like a red apple; try munching into a red onion like a red apple. And a brown onion, well, looks like one mouldy, gone-off, or over-ripe apple. Could you imagine your breath after munching into an onion? No chewing gum or breath freshener can save you from the onion breath.
It’s almost like onions being similar to a shark in the ocean, creeping up on you from your salad, from your yoghurt, from your freshly made sandwich, from your dinner. Remember the music from the Jaws movie? Listen to that as you slowly put a piece of your beloved onion in your mouth, then comes the killer onion breath following after. Maybe not for you, who likes onions and onion breath, but for the innocent bystanders who have to cop and endure your onion breath, a possible death breath.
Oh well, onions taste great don’t they...so much for onion breath, which is, remember, officially cool from now on in.