Now that Alex Jones has conquered notorious New World Order “hatchet man” and shameless “redcoat” Piers Morgan with a combination of bombastic wordplay and an almost passable British accent, the whole world is wondering the same thing: What’s next for Jones?
The tough-talking Texan has challenged Morgan to a moderated debate, and Morgan has indicated he may have Jones back on his program, but even if the two men face off again (and the smart money says they will, in one forum or another), the Austin-based provocateur eventually will need to expand his horizons. Jones is in the big leagues now, and everyone knows the same two teams don’t keep playing each other all season long.
Surely any television program that books the outspoken gun-rights advocate (as a guest, not on trumped-up charges) will see its ratings skyrocket. What’s the holdup? America got its first real prime-time taste of Jones this week, and like sugar addicts at a cotton candy factory, millions of people are in a state of craving. It remains to be seen if Jones is serving up junk food or the most nutritional cuisine ever presented on American television, but there’s no doubt that tens of millions of TV viewers are hungry for more. “Pass the whiskey, honey! Alex Jones has something to say, and we’re gonna listen!”
In this unofficial and highly unscientific column, The Punditty Project entertains five possibilities for Jones as he continues his meteoric rise to wherever it is he’s going.
1. Just stay put. Jones already has a wide following, two popular websites and such must-see movies as the “Police State” franchise, the “TerrorStorm” franchise and “The Obama Deception.” If you think Dinesh D’Souza’s “2016: Obama’s America” was eye-opening, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. As of Wednesday, Infowars.com is the 463rd-most popular website in the US, according to Alexa.com, and it saw a 200 percent spike in traffic on Tuesday, the day after Jones stole the show from Morgan. Prisonplanet.com isn’t quite as well-trafficked, coming in at No. 2,322 in popularity on Wednesday, but that could be because a lot of people get it confused with globalgulag.com. Either way, Jones has a big Web-based audience and can grow it even more. Matt Drudge started linking to Jones at some point over the past few years, but Drudge could find himself begging for links from Jones’ sites if that’s where the firearms fan chooses to put his energy.
2. Recurring Guest on “The View.” Is Barbara Walters brave enough to ask Jones on to discuss topics like gun control, Operation Gladio, the collapse of World Trade Center Building 7 and the dangers posed by Big Pharma? Would Whoopi Goldberg be able to stay seated? Would Joy Behar’s bouncy personality give way to fear and trembling? Would self-described “class clown” Sherri Shepherd be able to get in a few laughs at Jones’ expense? Would Elisabeth Hasselbeck have anything nice to say? Jones’ agent should be all over this one, pronto if not sooner.
3. “Monday Night Football” announcer. Rush Limbaugh flamed out in this role, as did Dennis Miller, but in Jones, the MNF franchise might finally find a worthy replacement for the one and only Howard Cosell. If Jones could bring just a fraction of his enthusiasm for the Second Amendment to Monday night action, ratings would break records every week, and Jones would no doubt be able to give detailed diatribes on why the shotgun formation is the best thing about football.
4. Taking over for Charlie Rose. Sure, Rose is good at what he does, but he’s 71 and Jones is a mere lad of 38. Who wouldn’t tune in to see Jones interview the likes of Gen. Stanley McChrystal, Warren Buffett or the Dalai Llama? Working for PBS might go against Jones’ free enterprise philosophy, but taking the job would be a good chance for Jones to demonstrate that on some occasions, compromise can be a good thing. PBS would have its most successful fund-raising drive in history if it could just arrange for Jones to interview President Barack Obama.
5. Host of “Conspiracy Jeopardy!” No doubt about it, Alex Trebek remains a good fit for plain ole boring “Jeopardy!" But who would watch something that staid and predictable when “Conspiracy Jeopardy!” was on another channel? “I’ll take 'False Flag Operations' for $500, Alex.” Instead of the Daily Double, the show could have the Daily Double Agent. How cool would it be for Jones to go off on a 15-second fact-or-fiction rant on the Mata Hari before giving players a fraction of a second to answer?
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