Age is no factor
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Age is no factor

Sydney : Australia | Dec 29, 2012 at 11:14 PM PST
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Age 2

Gather your things, we are going on a quest for the Fountain of Youth. Now don’t think it’s in your backyard, and start digging away like a mad person, just like your pet dog or cat burying their beloved bone, only to hit a water pipe and up comes...the foundation of youth, not, only water; better luck next time. Then again, you could live to a ripe old age and enter the Guinness Book of Records. You may look old and saggy but you may be that have that child within searching for the Foundation of Youth.

Japanese resident, Jiroemon Kimura is currently the oldest man in the world at 115 years of age. Abraham would be proud (Abraham in Bible). He was born in Queen Victoria’s reign and is now in the Guinness Book of Records. No cans of Guinness needed here, Jiroemon is going to further his record and live even longer, aren’t you Jiroemon? Perhaps so, perhaps not. Come off it, I’m sure he’ll sneak a can of Guinness in there somewhere and be ‘somewhere over the rainbow’ (Dorothy, Wizard of Oz movie).

The name of Jiroemon either sounds like Jim, or Jimeon, the Australian-Irish comedian who might learn a thing or two and use his comedy for some belly-bursting belly laughs and hence long life living. Then again, Jiroemon had a big smile on his face; perhaps he had seen one of Jimeon’s classic performances. Then again, he could just be growing old gracefully...good luck to him on that, and pay attention all you folk out there, young and old. And Kimura, Jiroemon’s last name, must have come from Jiroemon putting the guardian of the Fountain of Youth (yes he found the fountain the lucky bugger) into a Kimura lock (Jiu Jitsu wrestling lock) and pressured him into giving Jiroemon some of the Fountain of Youth. See I knew Jiroemon had a secret tactic for living long.

I go to my far share of weddings, and I usually wish the newly-weds a long and prosperous marriage, in other words, 20, 40, 60 years and beyond. Some couples get a bit hesitant and worried about the ‘long’ part of my wishful statement and start looking at their wife or hubby in a concentrated stare. Well, there are two solutions; one solution is you have to convince that the couple they will look beautiful and youthful when they reach Heaven, or, the second solution is bringing Jiroemon with you to each wedding to show there is nothing wrong in growing old, and that Jiroemon knows where the Fountain of Youth is, don’t you Jiroemon? Jiroemon, Jiroemon...shit he’s sleeping, I thought his record in the Guinness Book of Records had come to quick end, in other words, he was dead, vamoosed, gone.

Jiroemon has that big smile on his face in his newspaper photograph in the Sydney Morning Herald. He knows where that Fountain of Youth is, I know it. Better luck next time for the rest of us.

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Jiroemon Kimura
LittleIrishman is based in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, and is a Reporter on Allvoices.
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