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70 & counting

Sydney : Australia | Dec 23, 2012 at 4:36 PM PST
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You thought I was talking about age, didn’t you all those golden oldies out there; if you consider yourself to be a golden oldey? Well someone would have to be childish or downright immature for wearing 70 items, and this was in public. You might be used to asking your age, which isn’t 70, it’s....21, because you are 21 everyday, or at least that’s what you would like to think so.

So wearing 70 items, at an airport, nice choice...not. China’s Guangzhou Daily newspaper reported about a man who put on 70 items of clothing to avoid an extra baggage charge at an airport. He was stopped by a metal detector at the airport because, well, he looked like an over-sized Sumo wrestler, and had to undergo a full body check. For instance, the man wore 60 shirts at one stage.

Now if it wasn’t the end-of-year sales and the man’s quest to grab a bargain that did it, or a rare body disease, or deciding to compete as one very competitive Sumo wrestler at the 2012 Big Clothing Chinese Sumo Wrestling competition, it was the fact that this person was crazy enough to put on 70 items to try and pass airport security, and save their precious purchases.

Wait a minute, purchases...end-of-year-sales; so perhaps it was the end-of-year sales that did it. I tell you what it would be mixed emotions having bought all the clothing items and realising you have to bring them home somehow and the reality of the situation would hit you, when you reach the airport; that’s if you are ‘Big Clothing Superman’ (what the?) and you can fly home, flying here-there-and-everywhere with your heavy weight, and of course scaring the passengers in passing 747 planes – ‘is it a bird? Is it a plane, it’s....Big Clothing Superman’.

Then there was the full body check. Is that with the 70 items or without the 70 items? And no rubber gloves please – ‘I love my 70 items, I love my 70 items’. But to do the full body check you have to fight this guy to get past the 70 items whilst he’s singing MC Hammer, ‘You Can’t Touch This’. But 70 items of clothing does tend to look suspicious don’t you think –

Members of the general public conversing over seeing the man with the 70 items at the airport:

‘Whose that?’

‘Oh that’s just some other guy, no need to worry’.

‘What’s he wearing?’

‘That’s just his unique fashion sense’.

‘Looks weird to me’.

And not just a Sumo wrestling competition, but the most important part of all, a fashion parade – the 2012 Big Clothing Chinese Catwalk parade. But they won’t look like a Cat, it is more like a hibernating Bear. If you look like a Bear at this fashion parade, better be careful not to scare the spectators who will be expending a lot of energy trying to figure out which item to look at and buy with these 70 plus Big Clothing models, including host, Big Clothing Superman himself.

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Chinese man tries to beat airplane baggage charges
Funny thing about airplane baggage charges (MSN photo)
LittleIrishman is based in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, and is a Reporter on Allvoices.
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