Movie Mayhem
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Movie Mayhem

Sydney : Australia | Dec 07, 2012 at 9:44 PM PST
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Can anyone, somebody, tell me how good a Friday or Saturday or Sunday night movie at home is? Ok, it wasn't always good, but at least we had each other, right (Oh enough touchy feely for one night please, let's concentrate on this unbelievable night at the movies). Now please don't make a decision between wife or hubby, or hubby or wife, and the kids, and a good movie. Wait a minute, helloooooooo, Earth to Mr or Mrs Somebody; it's too late they are mesmerized by the evening movie.

Of course you had to come prepared to the weekend evening movie with bean-bag, popcorn and large coke (what is this movies at the cinemas, minus the bean-bag?). Actually it is the real cinemas, in the comfort of your own home. Now that's an idea, bring a bean-bag to your local cinemas and camp right in front of the screen. You want Gold-Class (Event Cinemas, Australia), well there's a new edition, with...the bean-bag. No green beans in this bean-bag, which you might decide to eat if you are that sick; it is instead the usual poly....poly...polyfill stuff, you know the one. Either that or Poly wants a cracker, or you are crackers. You midas well pamper yourself with a massage for the guys and manicure and pedicure for the gals (girls) at your Gold-Class cinemas. But you can also have your Gold-Class at home. You know you will forget that the weekend movie was ever there with this pampering, plus bean-bag, popcorn and large coke. But maybe not; perhaps the Friday or Saturday or Sunday evening movie is that good and you are still mesmerized.

Then....then, they invented projectors and movie channels on cable. That's when you know someone is really serious about the weekend movie, when, they purchase a projector, to really capture that true-to-life cinema experience. Sit back and relax because you are about to be wondered by this projector-thing-a-ma-jig (woooo sounds technical boss). Better make sure this projector doesn't break down, after all the constant use, and the movie channels on cable.

The movie channels on cable...movies every day, all day; that's a lot of mesmerization, and a lot of acting. We have the easy part of just sitting back and watching. That special weekend movie night has taken the back seat on the bus because the word 'special' has just been taken to a nearby hospital with popcorn and coke poisoning. Try going to the toilet after that one. In fact you should strap the toilet to your backside and meditate on it while you sleep. And then there's the big hole in your beloved Gold-Class bean bag and it wasn't Stephen Hawking's fault (disabled scientist who found some black holes in space). You can actually breath back life into your fingers by changing the channels on the plethora of movie channels with your lethal remote control. Your remote control has gone out of control because you're flicking madly between movie channels like it's normal TV. Oh your poor weekend movie.

The best way to test the strength of a weekend movie is to try and do some acting yourselves before the weekend movie, or during commercial breaks, and see if you get distracted. Now you may or may not be able to act to save your lives, but no need to worry, the actors and actresses on the weekend movie can act, supposedly, so don't worry, they'll save their honey's lives. Ok ok, doing some acting during the weekend movie is fun, I mean why not. But can you get out of the way of the television with all your acting and carry on, you are blocking the view of our beloved weekend movie.

LittleIrishman is based in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, and is a Reporter for Allvoices.
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