knew what time it was – ‘Stop, Hammer time’, and so do the Auctioneers of Australia. C’mon say it – ‘Auct-phewie’, as you wipe the spittle from your mouth after a bumper day of auctions, and have work out your hammer of power with the catchy line, ‘Going once, going twice, sold (‘bang’, down comes the hammer once again with MC Hammer blaring from the speakers – ‘Stop, Hammer time.’
An Auctioneer is like the Prince of Princess of the kingdom aiming to get the best deal for the King and Queen. I bet it feels great to have that sort of power, blurting out the instructions up on your throne while the pack of sheep in the potential buyers section below scramble for the prize – ‘Give it to me’. ‘No, no, give it to me’, or moi aka Kath and Kim.
Of course, the Auction to make the Auction is a property and the best ones of course are the ‘double- or triple- storey house’, ‘luxury apartment’ or ‘beachside penthouse’. Mate good luck with that. Hammer time would definitely be hampered with the amount of offers going off the charts for this sort of properties.
I’ve heard of mini-mansions in the suburbs but in the exclusive areas, show me the moolah baby because ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’. There is a solution to the millionaire’s club for properties....bring the suitcase. What does the suitcase mean in the scheme of things? Good things believe me. ‘Show Me the Money’; you want the money, you got the money. Who can mess with the suitcase – ‘I got $1 million, I got $2 million over here, I got, I got, wait a minute... not the suitcase, no, no.’ I must admit, the suitcase takes the fun out of being an Auctioneer because the auction finishes then and there because someone really did show you the money. That all depends if the suitcase is filled with ‘I owe you notes’ (Dumb and Dumber movie, Jim Carey) or real dollar bills, and of course they would be genuine I owe you notes (Are you kidding me? Where is the shing-ga-shing mate?). ‘Sold to the, the...damn suitcase’. (Down does the hammer for another ‘Hammer time’).
Apparently Melbourne outshone Sydney for the Hammer Time award, yes, for more Auction sales. Well, you have to give it to Melbourne, they have got the upper hand on Sydney a number of times, for example attracting the Olympic Games and other sporting events. And Auctions are like a sport aren’t they, or a party, with the Auctioneer signalling the start and finish of the party, i.e. the Auction, with the strike of his/her hammer – ‘Stop, it’s Hammer [party] time’. But for an all-Sydney affair, Western Sydney outclassed everyone, which is not surprising for such a big area, making a century (100) more of sales at auctions. Western Sydney are getting into all sorts of things now, realising its huge potential – Greater Western Sydney (GWS) in the AFL, Western Sydney Wanderers for A-League and Western Sydney Bulldogs in NRL. They should make it Country and Western Sydney, instead of Country and Western Sydney. Be ready to join each of the Western Sydney armies with a stack of Country and Western Sydney chants.