Published in The Independent 2008, just weeks before Obama was elected. As it was true back then, it is even more true today. Reprinted with the permission of its author - yours truly. - AGB
Do these Yidishisms sum up the concept "loser"? They do.
Consider economist Dr. Thomas Sowell's observations about America's unhappy people on which I liberally amplify because he is a gentleman and I am not:
Unhappy people dominate discourse in the nation and The Nation Magazine.
In The New York Times, ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS Newsweek, and TIME.
Unhappy women, unhappy adoptees, unhappy journalists.
In fact, I think most unhappy fat people are either liberals or lesbians.
In fact I have nothing against lesbians. I'm trying to become one as soon as possible.
Unhappy minorities, unhappy birthmothers, unhappy revisionist historians.
Unhappy Holocaust Deniers and Democrats.
Unhappy people become radicals and march in black outfits or pink ones on the streets of your cities carrying signs with dumb statements written on them, or march on the Great Mall in Washington D.C., making a nuisance of themselves and leaving trash behind making sanitation engineers unhappy.
They wave unhappy signs about chimps. They need to get a life. Or pick flowers.
Or at least wash their hair.
Unhappy complainers get all the attention.
Unhappy people are loud and obnoxious. And if that's not enough, they'll blow up things and people to get attention to themselves.
We call them "obsessive-repulsives."
Take a look at the leftists of Code Pink and Women in Black. They're all fat. And not one is cute.
Rush Limbaugh may be the only conservative who is fat...and he's losing weight.
But maybe he's not cute either.
The difference between Rush and the Code Pink people is that Rush is funny, articulate, well dressed, clean, urbane, happy, very intelligent and mostly, rich. And he eats at the best diners.
All fat conservatives are losing weight. I'm trying to and I'm not yet fat.
But unhappy liberals just get fatter. Mostly because they eat liberally.
And they are unhappy about being unhappy. A good reason as any I guess.
The unhappy dominate discourse in America.
Take Cindy Sheehan. Fat and stupid. She could lose weight but can't do much about the last.
NOW: National Organization of Unhappy Women.
Democrats: The Party of Unhappy Losers of the election of 2000.
So what's the big deal if Bush stole the election? Can't these people take a joke?
They have the proctologist's view of reality.
None of them take responsibility for themselves. They are sour grapes unable to "get over it" or to "get on with it."
They always find someone else to blame. You, for example. Or their parents, or extra-terrestrials.
Better yet, they can blame George Bush. For everything.
A hurricane strikes, blame George Bush. Tsunamis? Global warming? Blame George Bush.
Hemorrhoids? You know the drill....
Unhappy people deny reality.
They never blame themselves for their own shortcomings.
They'll blame you.
Or George Bush.
a. I am unhappy because life is difficult
b. I am unhappy because of sexism
c. I am unhappy because of racism
d. I am unhappy because (insert any "ism") that comes to mind
e. No Blood for Oil
Women in this country get more benefits and opportunities than most men in any part of the world. Minorities live better in this country than anywhere else in the world. Health care is better in the US and the quality of life is better for all segments of society than anywhere else in the world. Safety and well-being is higher, the air and water quality is better than anywhere else. Political and economic freedom is greater than anywhere else in the world. Especially for Americans. And we're enjoying Global Warming big time, aren't we?
Blame George Bush.
Even sex is better here than anywhere else in the world. If you get some.
I know, and that's why I'm studying all day and night to become a lesbian.
If you are disgruntled, you'll be heard. If you are happy, no one listens, no one cares, you don't exist. You spend your life listening to music, enjoy simple pleasures: the sunshine, clean air, a walk on the beach, the company of a sane person who has better things to do than to hate George Bush. And you have a good chuckle at yourself...and mostly at the unhappy who have no reason for their unhappiness but themselves and their world view. These unfortunate folk are unable to have a chuckle at themselves. I speak of those who always see the cup half or entirely empty.
Ethnic or gay solidarity demonstrations are chauvinism. Anti-war demonstrations are Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
There are reasons we have wars and none of them are good.
We have wars anyway because the alternative to war is worse than waging it.
What The Unhappy don't get is: what matters is not who your ancestors were, or your sexual preferences, or your political leanings, but what you do with your life. And if your ancestors really count in your mind, than the only thing that matters is what they have contributed to mankind's welfare and benefit. And that, may have something to do with your political leanings. You see, if your ancestors, like yourself, have contributed very little to culture, science, math, art, music, literature, medicine, business, economics, whatever, you have a good reason to be unhappy. Your ancestors were losers just like you are. But the upside to all of this negative stuff is:
You can become a lesbian.
The bottom line: Because they are miserable, unhappy people try to hurt or damage happy and successful people, stab the happy in the back, are filled with envy and resentment – and subscribe to the politics of envy and resentment. They are angry, duplicitous and deceptive, usually stupid too, all the while trying to elevate themselves to legitimacy. They clog the streets with stupid signs and our universities and media's pages with even stupider ideas. It is said: Stupid is as Stupid does. They cheat and they rat. And they teach your kids to think like the losers they have become. They are a danger to themselves and a bigger danger to us all and society at large.
Worse, they have no sense of humor. That last is unforgivable.
In other words, they are losers and the sooner they move to Canada, as many have threatened to, or Uganda preferably, the better for all of us. And this last will really piss off some of the people I write about:
G-d Bless America!