Little Cop

Little Cop

Sydney : Australia | Sep 09, 2012 at 2:20 AM PDT
Views: Pending

‘Little Cop, Little Cop, oh where are you now? Little Cop, Little Cop, you are nowhere to be found’.

‘Mr. oh Mr. don’t look so far. Mr. oh Mr. you need only look down’.

Yes there are short Police around and yes I'm writing this because I'm relatively short myself. In fact, there are more Little Cops doing the rounds than ever before. Some or most people think cops are supposed to be tall, strong and burly and speak in a deep bellowing voice as if they swallowed a microphone, and this includes the women, like the Giant in Jack and the Beanstalk, Goliath in David and Goliath and Andre the Giant from World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). Well, nowadays they've decided to go for Jack, David and Hornswoggle, the miniature Leprechaun and co-partner of Irish wrestling star in the WWE. Watch out people because here they come.

Now there is no shaking of the ground, that’s if you are having an earthquake or heart attack in your immediate vicinity. There’s no penetrating stare and a stand overish intimidating stance, that’s if ‘you’re feeling lucky punk’ (Clint Eastwood). No, no, there’s none of that. In fact, from first impressions, when Little Cop comes up to, and you realise how small they are, you might even, break into hysterical laughter. But don’t laugh too hard now because you might make a scene and cause Little Cop to spring into action – ‘What’s going on here? Yeah, you over there, what’s so funny?’

And just to see what Little Cop does, you start to run away from Little Cop. But then you begin to find out that Little Cop has some strengths to, yeah, they are quicker than you; in fact, they have been keeping pace with you for a while now, side-by-side, waiting for you to realise he’s been staring at you for the past 10 minutes. However, if you are tall or big or big-boned it might dawn on you that it should not be you doing the running and refer back to the ‘me big, you small’ scenario, or fee-fie-foe fum, and insinuate, ‘shouldn’t it be me chasing you Little Cop’. But of course they are the cops, Little Cops.

Well, Little Cop, comes in all shapes and sizes and there are a few slow and slobbish ones as well so you might win a few battles; picture Police Academy. Little Cop does have something to offer. To describe Little Cop, they speak to the suspect person or criminal in a polite and squeaky, high-pitched voice. Little Cop tries to use people skills and befriend you in a nice way as a tactic to keep the peace, which the leaves the perpetrator thinking – ‘hey Little Cop is not so bad, I might get away with this’.

Now if you don’t believe any of this and think Little Cop is just a Little Cop, well, push your luck’ll ‘cop this’ – yes an array of arsenal, including hand-cuffs (no ideas all you friskers), capsicum spray, taser gun, some slippery martial arts and no it’s not drunken master and yes drunken master is a style of martial art, mixed with a few words like, ‘you thought you got this one didn’t you? I don’t think so buster’.

LittleIrishman is based in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, and is a Reporter on Allvoices.
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