It’s hard for me to understand why the English language is the way it is. I was reading the news about a bus that said it had a “fiery crash.” I am truly sorry about that, but why isn’t it spelled f-i-r-e-y? I mean, the only difference is the long “E” sound at the end. Why do we need to change the spelling.
Today I had to write a check for “forty five dollars” (I was getting my dog groomed) but why not fourty five? Where’d the U go? Not the car, that was Yugo but at least it was spelled right. If I took both of my dogs in, that would have been ninety. Exactly, nine with the ty.
So it dawned on me while I was writing this story that I may just be incompetent or inept. But what if I’m not? Then that means I’m competent, but can I be “ept?” Nope. So why, if I am the opposite of inept, can’t I be “ept?”
So how many other words are screwed up in the English language that have foreigners and English speakers alike pulling out their hair trying to learn this language? If you are enthralled with this story, great. If not, just know you can’t be thralled. If you like my writing, you can be encouraging. If not, just know you can’t be couraging. But if you are enchanted by this story...well you get it.
Then there are words that people make up that simply don’t exist. Remember “Certs (breath mints) with Retsyn.” No such thing as retsyn. Alberto came out with a shampoo that had “Balsam.” No such thing as an actual balsam product, it means an odor. Shampoo with a smell, wow, that's one hell of an invention.
And I still can’t spell i-e words, you know the rule, “I” before “E” except after whatever that lunatic English teacher said in third grade. I think the language, the spelling and Mr. Webster need to be fixed and I think I’m write. Wait, right.
Never mind, I’ll just use spell check.