The Poet's Corner: Ode To Scott Boras

There's a reason why baseball has lost its luster and why free agency is rather porous.

The sole perpetrator that has hijacked the sport is a buster that goes by the name of Scott Boras.

Before he ran salaries through the roof, baseball was the nation's pasttime.

After he has run roughshod with horrible negotiating tactics, baseball is now past its prime.

This guy is more pungent than liver oil from cod.

Boras is so much of a douche that he was fired by A-Rod.

He is so annoying that the Chicago White Sox will not talk to a player whose agent is this guy.

He is more repugnant than a stye that is on the lid of an eye.

For example, he forced a high draft pick to holdout, a pitcher named Mark Appel.

Picking this guy to not be your agent shouldn't be too hard to grapple.

However, Appel selected for Boras to negotiate to the Pirates.

Appel wanted to play in the big leagues this year, but Boras stabbed everyone in the back by running up the contract price in private.

Pittsburgh did the right thing and held their ground without fear,

Which means that Appel will have to reenter the MLB Draft next year.

Appel turned down $3.8 million, a move that is not right.

Appel goes to Stanford, but he really isn't too bright.

Choosing school over athletics appears not to cause any harm,

But what if Appel loses pitching velocity in his throwing arm?

Picking Boras as an agent is never a manuever that is smart.

Why choose an agent in Boras who is like the Tin Man, a man that lacks heart?

It's proven by the fact that not enough blood pumps into his face so it looks like he has rosacea.

I hope that the next time he has sex with a woman, she gives him crabs like Crustacea.