Las Vegas—Amid the fallout over a high school prank,has sought to redirect attention from his homophobic scalping of a classmate to his personal makeover a la . After kissing the ring of former sugar daddy , Romney revealed his new hairdo at a press conference at the Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas. During his opening remarks, Romney praised Trump as the “Birther of a Nation,” a reference to D. W. Griffith’s classic 1915 film, Birth of a Nation.
“Like the heroes of the Civil War era, Donald Trump is a great American, one we should all strive to emulate,” said a glowing Romney, raking back his elegant pompadour with one hand. “I am proud to have him on my donors list.”
When a member of the press pointed out to Romney that the famous film from which Trump’s epithet originated was broadly denounced for its portrayal of African American men—played by white actors in blackface—as stupid and sex-crazed for white women, not to mention the depiction of theas white knights, Romney shrugged. “My campaign has no control over the racist views expressed in patriotic films,” he said, “any more than I can control the views of our supporters.”
Meanwhile, Trump seemed to love the “Birther of a Nation” sobriquet and in fact reports have surfaced that he offered to buy the original Griffith film for more than $100 million. Trump was also thrilled that Romney has taken his advice and switched to Joe the Barber, Trump’s blind hairstylist who now has a salon in the lobby of the Trump Hotel on Central Park in New York City.
Joe the Barber will be the spokesperson in a pro-gay Romney TV commercial, which will begin airing during the Greco-Roman wrestling competition at this summer’s Olympic games in London. “We wanted to run the commercial in as gay a venue as possible,” Romney presidential campaign senior advisor Eric Fehrnstrom explained. “And, for Pete’s sake, you can’t tell me all those guys aren’t gay.”
Added Romney, “I may or may not have viciously scalped some Nancy boy when I was a mere lad of 18. I don’t recall. But I want everyone to know I have no immediate plans to do it again.” Insisting they have bent over forwards to appeal to the gay community, the Romney campaign has scheduled the first airing of the commercial in the San Francisco market and has invited gay leaders to a party afterwards. “I can promise you,” said Romney, “It’s going to be one helluva gay bash.”
© Daniel Bruce Brown, 2012
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© Daniel Bruce Brown, 2012