Shocking recording of the meeting between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney revealed by WIKI Leaks (Satire)

On Friday, February 27, 2009, a secret meeting between President Barack Obama and Mitt Romney took place in the Oval Office at the White House. WIKI Leaks (Wickedly Inspired Killingly Inaccurate Leaks) obtained a tape from this meeting and worked exclusively with Allvoices to first find a suitable player, which wasn't an easy task since, incomprehensibly, it was an 8-track tape.

We were absolutely stunned by what we heard once we were able to listen to the recording.

The meeting took place at 8pm, when most of the White House staff was at Chelsea Clinton’s 29th birthday party thrown by Michelle Obama at Ray's Hell Burger. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were alone in the Oval Office, with Secret Agents stationed behind closed doors.

On the tape, Mitt Romney sounds clearly shocked when he learns Barack Obama wants to discuss the health care reform he’s about to start campaigning for and how he wants to adopt several major ideas from Romney’s Massachusetts Health Connector Plan.

“I want to reduce health-care costs and the number of uninsured people, and I’d like to adopt several ideas from your Massachusetts Health Care Plan, your individual mandate to make it obligatory for people to buy insurance being one of my favorite.”

Romney repeatedly interrupts Barack Obama with irate “what?” during the - what will turn out to be - short conversation, while Obama is trying to explain how he only wants to be upfront about the fact he was inspired by Romney, so he doesn't have to worry about being accused of plagiarism if his health care plan is later compared to Romney’s.

“I’m not your muse, damn it! And surely not your therapist! I don’t care what you worry about! I’ll never admit you used my ideas in your health plan reform! No matter what, I’ll keep on insisting that my Massachusetts Health Care Plan is totally different!” - Mitt Romney angrily retorts.

Sounding initially puzzled and unable to understand Romney’s mounting livid attack, Obama becomes angry fast, and the increasingly heated exchange ends with incredibly furious words from both politicians.

Obama: “What the f’*** is your problem? Why would it be so damn awful to simply acknowledge I was inspired by your ideas?”

Romney: “I don’t f’***ing need to explain anything to you! I will campaign my Massachusetts plan is superior to yours and you should use it as an example!”

Obama: “But that’s what I’m trying to do here! I want to use it as an example! Are you f***ing mental?”

Romney: “Shut up you cunning …(censored)…! Just watch me! I’ll bury you in 2012!”

Obama: “I’ll watch! I’ll destroy you over this! Then I'll lock you up and throw away the key, you psycho!”

Even more insulting word exchange follows for few more seconds and crashing sounds of shatter, crumble, and breaking glass can be heard. Secret Service agents rush into the Oval Office, some more shouting ensues, and the recording abruptly stops.

The Oval Office has been renovated and redecorated by designer Michael Smith, and unveiled to the public by the end of December 2009.

Few days later, on March 5, 2009, Barack Obama called for a health summit at the White House to debate ideas for his health care law reform. There were no visible bruises on his face.

Mitt Romney had a Meet the Press appearance a few months after the meeting; in June. If there were any bruises, they healed by then.

In July, Romney released his 2009 USA Today op-ed, in which he touted his Massachusetts Health Care Plan as an excellent model for the nation and suggested that President Barack Obama should pursue Romney’s state individual mandate.

Obama’s health care law, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, was signed into law on March 23, 2010. Among several similarities to Romney’s Massachusetts Health Care Plan, it included individual mandate.

On March 27, 2012, individual mandate has been challenged in the Supreme Court as the central question of the constitutionality of the Obama’s health care law. The Supreme Court is expected to rule in June 2012.

Presently, Mitt Romney is an overwhelming favorite to receive GOP Presidential Nomination at the Republican National Convention, which will be held during the week of August 27, 2012, at the Tampa Bay Times Forum in Tampa, Florida.

Afterwards, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney may very likely face off in the Presidential debate.

Were it to happen, for the first time since the fateful incident on February 27, 2009, Obama and Romney would find themselves being in the same room.

-----------------------

Neither Barack Obama nor Mitt Romney was available for comments.

WIKI Leaks will not reveal a source of this shocking 8-track tape, but both Obama and Romney should know by now that all recordings, especially those of an explosive nature, will always make their way to the public.

Allvoices will release the full recording of this 13 minutes 54 seconds-long exchange to the media when we copy this ridiculous 8-track tape to a CD.