Orlando : FL : USA | Mar 28, 2012 at 7:28 AM PDT
Views: Pending

Blanche Bulgarwheat is the type of American who gobbles up irrelevant pieces of news regarding suspects and victims then enthusiastically jumps on the turnip truck with the rest of the media-driven lynch mob. She heard Trayvon Martin had been suspended for possessing marijuana and that opened her eyes to the truth about the whole story. Until, of course, she then heard George Zimmerman had been arrested for a DUI and a couple of other equally irrelevant matters seven years ago.

Blanche loves the Constitution but often forgets each of the rights contain therein also comes with a responsibility. The Right to Bear Arms includes the responsibility to not to open fire on a cafeteria filled with kids. Freedom of Speech (Blanche’s favorite) comes with the responsibility not to scream “fire” in a crowded movie theater. Freedom of the Press too comes with a responsibility. The framers assumed The Press, by its very nature, would be more insightful as opposed to incite-ful. But, somewhere along the way, they discovered more papers would be sold and ratings would be higher by opting for the latter.

Another one of those pesky rules and principles we’re supposed to live by is the absurd notion that everyone has the right to a fair trial before a jury of their peers and shall be presumed innocent until proven guilty. Blanche hates this one. The idea of vetting witnesses and their testimony and of challenging evidence is totally absurd.

Before you label me a George Zimmerman fan, I assure you, I’m not. Like you, I’ve been on the receiving end of all the same reporting. Like you, I am outraged each time more information regarding the police errors. Like you, I can feel the Blanche Bulgarwheat in me emeging. Blanche is simply a metaphor for the dark side of our human nature. But the principles and rules upon which we as a society are based were crafted to protect the individual from the Blanche contained in the masses.

Whenever the media’s judgment is challenged they resort to the old stand-by – we’re protecting Blanche Bulgarwheat’s right to know. If revealing that Trayvon Martin carried weed adds more insult to the unimaginable injury Trayvon’s loved ones are suffering – tough! Should poisoning a jury pool with information that has zero relevance at George Zimmerman’s inevitable trial is the price to be paid – that's life! Blanche Bulgarwheat MUST BE FED!

Since everyone’s so all fired-up about Blanche’s right to know let’s give her, her own show! This way we can at least separate the irrelevant from relevant and also have what might be the highest rated, most profitable news program on the planet. Blanche’s team of reporters would spend most of their time rummaging through the closets of anyone who has the misfortune of landing in a headline, either as victim or suspect. Her studio could be a retro beauty parlor in Boca Raton. She would report her ‘fresh from the closets’ scoops from under one of those huge cone shaped hairdryers. The manicurist would hold the cue cards. This way we could all get our daily fix of meaningless facts to help us prejudge others. It’s a great idea unless, of course, your name should wind up in a headline someday.

When and if that should happen, you’re going to discover just how ugly all those Blanche Bulgarwheat’s really are and your attitude toward the media that feeds them will probably be much less forgiving.

1 of 1
Blanche Bulgarwheat is a satirical metaphor representing our need to feed the ugly little person inside us who loves to rush to judgment. She's a news reporter who loves to add irrelevant incendiary fuel to a fire.
shedman is based in Pensacola, Florida, United States of America, and is an Anchor on Allvoices.
Report Credibility
  • Clear
  • Share:
  • Share
  • Clear
  • Clear
  • Clear
  • Clear

News Stories


More From Allvoices

Report Your News Got a similar story?
Add it to the network!

Or add related content to this report

Most Commented Reports

Use of this site is governed by our Terms of Use Agreement and Privacy Policy.

© Allvoices, Inc. 2008-2014. All rights reserved. Powered by PulsePoint.