“If you are ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in peril.” By Sun Tzu
There are many ways to avoid success in life, but the most effective and proven ways are procrastination and self sabotage. People who procrastinate sabotage themselves They put obstacles in their own path, set up their own stumbling blocks They actually choose paths that hurt their performance.
Why would people do that to themselves?
Well the truth is Procrastinators are made not born no one was ever born to be a procrastinator, people choose self sabotage over self-regulation, It's easy to forget just how powerful our subconscious mind can be. We are often completely unaware of how our actions (or inactions) are affecting our lives. We may complain that things never work out for us, we have bad luck, or we just don't have what it takes to be successful.
For most people procrastination is a lifestyle stemming from habits that they have adopted over time you have to remember that our thinking pattern becomes habitual. We form habits and habits form character. Before you realize that you have got the habit, the habit has got you.
Habits are a lot stronger than logic and reasoning. Habits start by being too weak to be felt and end up becoming too strong to get out of,
So what is self sabotage? And why would some one want to sabotage themselves?
Self sabotage is a combination of our Thoughts, Feelings and Actions. Actions that are working against self-interest these thought patterns are creating barricades in our lives that is literally preventing our success at all levels even thought we want to have success.
You can look at it like this. We want something consciously but we sabotage our self unconsciously, it should be clear by now that there is a conflict going on between our conscious wants and our unconscious desires.
Some of the reasons why people might sabotage themselves are that subconsciously they create a safety mechanism to protect them from disappointment so out of fear of disappointment they actually create the disappointment.
So what are some of the consequences of self sabotage?
- They prevent us from reaching our Goals.
- They prevent us from taking action.
- They prevent us from making important decisions
- They hold us back in life.
What are some of the reasons why people sabotage themselves?
- some people sabotage themselves as a way of comfort or a coping mechanism.
- Lack of self-esteem.
- Lack of self-worth.
- Lack of self belief.
- Lack of self confidence.
- An inability to manage our emotional state.
- An inability to manage our reaction to circumstances, people and events.
Other well noted ways of self sabotage are.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of risk.
- Fear of making mistakes
- Fear of what people might think.
- Fear of succeeding. ( yes some people do have a fear of becoming successful)
- Limiting beliefs such as (it wont work, I can't do this, I am too busy for that right now, I am just not ready, I am just not good enough
- One of the worst is comparing ourselves with other people.
When these thoughts and actions go unmanaged or not corrected they we will continue to self sabotage which will work against our self interest.
So how do we fix self sabotage and eliminate it from our lives? Well the first thing we have to do is identify our self sabotaging behaviors we can do so by examining ourselves carefully or write a list of all our thoughts and motives that we believe maybe holding us back, we should also be careful to identify the triggers that set off these self sabotaging behaviors.
Some of the triggers could be a place, an event, an object, people or a specific time.
After we have single out the culprit that as been killing our dreams, stealing our prosperity and success then we can move in to repair or correction mode.
Our next step is to identify some healthy replacements that will help us achieve our self interest, as we have already establish, these self sabotaging behaviors are habits that are deeply-seated into our subconscious so it will take a full commitment on our part to eliminate and replace them .
so the best way to fix the problem is to ask your self why do you need to change this habit and if you find a good enough reason why you will have the motivation that you need to propel you forward to make the change ( i.e. my current habit is holding me back from starting my own business.
Start practicing your new healthy behavior until an habit is formed to replace the old negative habit, some people recommend that you should practice for 21 days but I believe that you should give your self the least 30 day and be very consistent, because some of the self defeating thoughts that you are now trying to correct took many years to form some were even developed from childhood so I really don't think 21 days is sufficient.
This is not a comprehensive lesson on how to eliminate procrastination and self sabotage, but the steps that have been laid out here withing are sufficient enough to get you well on you way to success providing that you follow the steps carefully and that you are committed to change and self-regulation.
final tips be aware, be optimistic, learn from your mistakes by asking self improving questions in contrast to your mistakes, identify self defeating thoughts root them out and replace them the instant you discover them and be committed and consistent your success, happiness and entire life depend on it.