Ocala : FL : USA | Dec 26, 2011 at 7:48 AM PST
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~~GLAD YOU ASKED~~PRICELESS....My friend, *Chatty {* name changed to protect the innocent...ME..} was kind enough to deliver cookies to me for Christmas. I, in turn, reciprocated by making homemade (microwaved) fudge [check out column..."OH, FUDGE" for recipe]. On December 24th, I thanked her for her cookies and told her that her fudge was excellent. When she informed me she did not make fudge, I explained that I had made some for her, but due to my concern it would "harden", I ate it for her....

Chatty informed me her itinerary consisted of last-minute gift shopping as her youngest daughter requested 1) Espresso cups and 2) a new Bra...I though "what the confetti", I have not been to a riot (or created one) in a week or two, so I RSVPed on the spot.

{ It was the night before Christmas and all through the mall, I'm quizzing myself if I have any intelligence at all?}

Our first mission: The store called The Unmentionables..(at my age, it should be named "The Uncontrollables"). Chatty located a harness,oops, bra for her daughter, that had less material than what I wore on my wedding night!

The bra was strapless,color: nude, and a 34 B cup with a price tag of $52.99. I suggested in Chatty's ear, that if she purchased 2 glass "JUG" grips, I'll make the tassels out of bread wrapper ties.....

Next AND Final episode: The espresso Cups...We patronized the store that slogan SHOULD be "If you can find ANYTHING under 34 bucks, it's a miracle"!

Chatty spotted the cup that would be perfect...She asked the saleslady it's price ...Cashier stated $18.99. (NOW I know why it's called "ESPRESSO"--By the look on Chatty's face and the SHAPE of her mouth.) The employee assured us it was a good price (on sale?) as normally it sells for...$25.99..(gulp)

Chatty started to talk in "TEXT". Pointing at the item...."FOR THIS ONE CUP?" ...reply...a nod of the head horizontally....(Chatty)..."THIS ONE CUP?" (grasping the item)...reply...a nod of the head up and down...(Chatty) "ONE CUP?" (sliding the cup to the side)...reply...a quick nod (the cashier was fluent in sign language)...(Chatty) "CUP?" in a high pitch voice...nod. Chatty stated, "I'll take TWO with matching saucers, please"....TOTAL BILL...$63.72.

I suggested, in Chatty's ear, to wear the $52.99 bra (and NOTHING else) when her hubby "discovers" the 4 items on their credit card statement...

As we were leaving the store, I mentioned that in a year or two, her daughter would have the 4 pieces in a yard sale for 25 cents OBO...Chatty stopped in mid-step, as if reality won out, and declared she would return the items (?). I begged her not go to the SAME register.....OH, she did....

For the FIRST time in my life, I brought the scene with me, for MY DEAR, DEAR, FRIEND, Chatty, "YOU ARE A RIOT"!

*** Hope you got a laugh or two out of this one, I am sure some can relate....Check me out on Twitter...thank you for following and allowing me to share....***

mickiphillips is based in Ocala, Florida, United States of America, and is a Reporter on Allvoices.
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