John Boehner Kills ‘Share Christmas With Your Senator’
Linkedin

John Boehner Kills ‘Share Christmas With Your Senator’

San Francisco : CA : USA | Dec 15, 2011 at 2:48 PM PST
XX XX
Views: Pending
 
Rush Limbaugh - Harry Reid Just Said It He Can Incorporate Parts Of The Boehner Bill In His

Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives.

“We’re giving a big ‘bah humbug’ to that idea,” said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). “Sure the Senators need some place to go for Christmas dinner, but they forgot to include us Representatives. So they’ve ruined it for everyone, just like they always do.”

With Congress’ approval rating at an all-time low, Senators and House members are having a difficult time socializing with voters or even sharing a tweet with anyone.

“I can’t even get a lobbyist to take me to lunch anymore,” said Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada). “It’s impossible to conduct business under the table when you can’t even get into a restaurant.”

The senator’s solution was to draft a bill, The Impromptu Visitation Act, which would’ve created a highly promoted program called “Share Christmas with Your Senator.”

“Look what Coca-Cola has done with Christmas and those damn polar bears,” Reid said. “I think I’m cuter than a polar bear, especially when I put on my Santa suit. But thanks to John Boehner, I’ll never know.”

The $1.3 billion program would’ve allowed US Senators “to barge in on any of their constituents during the holiday season, to partake in family festivities and to fully satisfy their need to be the center of attention.”

Reid described the bill as creating an “occupy Christmas movement” for the Senate. Unfortunately for him, he forgot to include the House of Representatives as part of the Christmas package.

Close to tears, Rep. Boehner admonished the Senator, noting that the measure, which had been unanimously approved by the Senate, was unanimously voted down in the House.

Now openly weeping, Boehner said between sobs: “We could have had eggnog together. There could have been presents to open. Expense vouchers to pad. Graft to grab. Do you have any idea how much cash they can stuff in a Christmas card envelope?”

Harry Reid suggested that the congressman change his name to John Bahumbug, noting “Christmas isn’t for crybabies.”

1 of 6
Next
Santa Claus
Senator Claus?
MichaelBalton is based in New York City, New York, United States of America, and is a Reporter for Allvoices.
Report Credibility
 
  • Clear
  • Share:
  • Share
  • Clear
  • Clear
  • Clear
  • Clear
 
 
 
Advertisement
 

News Stories

 
  • Senate approves tax cut extension

      United Press International
    Senate voted to approve a $30 billion tax cut and Medicare bill extension that forces them to revisit the issue in February, when the extension ends. The bill continues a payroll tax holiday for millions of workers and allows Medicare payments to...
  • GOP rejects Senate deal on payroll tax

      Miami Herald
    The fate of the two-month Social Security tax break extension suddenly became uncertain Sunday as House Speaker John Boehner said he and most Republicans were opposed to the plan. "It's pretty clear that I and our members oppose the Senate bill,"...
  • Boehner: House Republicans oppose Senate payroll tax deal

      Washington Post
    In an appearance on NBC's Meet the Press, Boehner said that the short-term package, which was negotiated by Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), should be re-worked by a conference committee in order...
  • House GOP rankled by Senate tax cut vote

      United Press International
    House Republican members were upset with the Senate's overwhelming passage Saturday of a $30 billion tax cut and Medicare bill extension. The Senate voted 89-10 to continue the payroll tax holiday for millions of workers and allows Medicare payments...
  • Senate leaders working on two-month backstop in payroll tax fight

      The Hill
    In case they fall short of a larger deal, Senate leaders are also working on a two-month backstop to save average middle-class families from a $1,000 tax increase and keep unemployment benefits from running out. The fail-safe measure would also...
  • Reid spokesman: Senate won’t return if House kills payroll tax compromise

      The Hill
    When asked whether Reid would call senators back to town next week if House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) refuses to schedule a vote or the House defeats a two-month extension of the payroll tax cut, Adam Jentleson, Reid's spokesman, said: No. There...

Blogs

 >

Images

 >
 

More From Allvoices

Report Your News Got a similar story?
Add it to the network!

Or add related content to this report



Use of this site is governed by our Terms of Use Agreement and Privacy Policy.

© Allvoices, Inc. 2008-2014. All rights reserved. Powered by PulsePoint.