SATIRE: China Agrees to Give Tibet back to Tibetans!

(NB DISCLAIMER: This article has been written in order to raise awareness and to create a vision of what could be and what China should do and say. The content sadly is not true yet. The author apologises if it offended anyone (other than the Chinese government and the CCP) in any way. On request of AllVoices, the author has issued an official apology here)

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In an unprecedented announcement, President Hu JintaoPresident Hu Jintao of the Peoples Republic of China has announced the long-desired return of the land of Tibet to its indigenous people.

"The phased return of Tibet and repatriation of the country by its original indigenous people who were forced out in 1949 will begin in the next six months", said Wu Hong, a spokesperson for the Chinese government.

Jintao is to issue a worldwide public apology for the actions of China who invaded Tibet in 1949 and forcibly took control of its lands and people. Jintao will say that China is deeply sorry for the considerable damage the nation has caused to the Tibetan landscape, through mining activity and the dumping of nuclear waste in former areas of natural beauty.

As part of the return of Tibet to its independent status, China will release a large number of politically imprisoned Tibetans from its concentration camps, including the Panchen LamaPanchen Lama who was imprisoned as soon as he was recognised at age 6. China will additionally cease all harvesting of human organs from political and state prisoners with immediate effect.

China will provide grants of several million Yuan in reparation funds to re-establish the Tibetan language in its schools and pay for the restoration of the many monasteries it has destroyed throughout the last 62 years.

The phased return of Tibet will begin with the repatriation of more than 1 million Han Chinese back to China, who were moved there by the communist government shortly after it invaded Tibet. All of China's Tibet-based troops will withdraw from Tibet simultaneously, bringing a new found freedom for Tibetans who will be able to live and express their culture once more.

Jintao is also expected to issue an unreserved apology to the Dalai Lama for the lifetime exile he was forced to undertake and the constant attempts to undermine and criticise his standing in the world. Alongside the Dalai Lama, Tibetan premier, Lobsang Sangay will relocate to the former seat of Tibetan power in the Potala Palace in Lhasa.

A new peace will spread in Tibet as it restores itself as the centre of Buddhist culture and learning in the world. "We can give a lot to the world and help many nations to grow and develop a philosophy of peace and positive action for the environment", said Tibetan Lama Kelsang Dhondup, interviewed recently. "We are glad to have this vision of China's exit from Tibet and the return of Tibet to its people once again. This will herald the growth of a new world based on humanitarian goals instead of short-term financial profit, which we know people do not take with them when they leave this world."

China plans to raise a memorial to all those Tibetans who self-immolated in the cause of justice in Tibet as part of its goal of making sure human rights abuses never happen in its land again. A spokesperson for the CCP regime said "taking this action will save China's reputation in the world as well as a great deal of money that is spent on security forces, concentration camps and control in Tibet."

Unfortunately all of the above is highly unlikely to happen with China in its current regime. Perhaps it will be so if democratic elections move forward at some time in the future. To date Hu Jintao and people like him have masses of blood on their hands.

(NB: This article was written in order to raise awareness and to create a vision of what China should say. The content sadly is not true yet. The author apologises if it offended anyone in any way.)